So I've decided attempting to post anything over the weekend is hilarious. I did try, I just failed as expected. I can honestly say this has been one of the most eventful weekends of my life. I felt like I never stopped despite how much time I had where I didn't have anything to do... maybe that's what happens when you are up past 2 am every night. woops!!
Yes, I am now labeled as two things. One, the girl with like 12 spongebob band aids on her right elbow. Two, I'm 'that girl that passed out' at the Texas A&M football game due to exhaustion... so embarrassing, and yes, you can tell everyone.. fail Molly, fail.
I had such a wonderful weekend though. As many of you know this week has been so revealing to me in so many ways and I finally let go of everything I've held onto for so long. It has liberated me, allowed me to be open about issues that no longer define me, AND it has given me relationships that actually have depth. The minute I let go of some relationships that weren't healthy for me this summer God turned around and gave them right back in a fun, healthy, and Godly way that I never thought I'd have with those people. Example A: Adam Keith, a kid that I dated this summer and went psycho on because I was so emotionally dependent I can now be friends with. It's no secret that there's a reason I picked him to date. He's funny, sweet, completely and totally GENUINE in everything he does and just downright adorable. I was blessed to not only have the opportunity to date him for a bit, but to call him a friend. Going into school I was scared of several relationships including that one that I didn't think would exist after the way I acted towards them. But like I said, the minute I gave these things up to God I got them right back. I can honestly say that I have finally learned the difference between romantic interest and friendship, and the way pursuit of those things work. Not only that, but I have felt a passion for selfless service that God has pushed me to share, and I feel like I have been able to share that with random people and even people that I'm close with. Dang, my heart is changing and I really hope that it shows :) I am so grateful for the second chances I have with the amazing people I surround myself with. So to those people listed above and others, you know who you are, thank you for allowing me the opportunity to change and be loved by you. Thank you for your smiles and ability to make me laugh. Most of the time that's all I need :)
I have always had a huge issue with love. It is a blessing and a curse that my two desires in life are to love and to serve. Aka, be a rockin mom and wife!!! And recently I've had overflowing joy, and not just silliness, but LOVE galor. All I want to do is love on people and hug people and smile with people. I want love to overflow from me onto other people as joy does from Michael Kanne, or sweet sincerity does from Adam Keith, genuineness from Grace Guthrie, pure goodness from Reagan Sinclair, consistency and non-judgmental views from Beth Pinto, or radiant-caring from Jenna Ponsford. The list goes on and on!!! This love that is exploding from me completely has to do with the love I have received from God and friends. I have never felt so supported, so accepted, so LOVED. And I have you all (especially those listed above) to thank :)
AHHHH okay, PC '10!!! Baby thetas have transformed me already. Today was the pledge retreat at Amanda Caldwell's ranch. Not only did I get to hear 49 amazing girls' hearts, but I got to pour mine into them. I literally shared a general summary of my life and how I've been transformed. Not just from this summer, but from depression and hurt in my life to the joy I now have!!! I cried for the love I feel for these girls. I am so grateful for each and every one of y'all.. I don't deserve you girls in my life but hey, I'll take you!!!
I am an open book! I got to spend some awesome time with Katie Willis today :) I figured out that I am more than happy to sit and tell anyone my problems. But I'm finally able to say I'm doing something about it in addition to laying my problems out for everyone to see. I am being healed, as we speak :) God has provided the amazing people I mentioned above to assist in my transformation, in so many different ways. I think it's time for some thanks!
Thank you God for providing those people to help me change from a selfish person to a giving one. Thank you for showing me how to emphasize my talents from You and suppress and change the not-so-awesome aspects of me. I don't have the strength all the time to recognize those things all the time.. but You do!
Thank you God for allowing me a second chance with people that I treated so badly and disrespectfully. Thank you for their smiles and encouraging words that was the basis of our friendship, and now can be again. I realize I don't EVER deserve second chances, but praise be to YOU that You offer them out in addition to grace and mercy.
Thank you God for giving me PC '10 and their pure perfection. Each and every one of those girls has had a past that blows my mind and their pursuit for each other and You is incredible to me. You put me as pledge assistant for Your good. I am forever changed by the incredible depth to these girls' hearts and their sincerity. THANK YOU for them!!!
To all of my readers, salud! (luck in spanish, also bless you, also cheers... hmm..)
Molly
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