dang spies...

MAN. What a day!! For starters, tornado in College Station? HUH? Yes, I was that girl running with ruined toms in hand to the bus twice due to classes being canceled and then emails saying class was back on and then canceled again. Yes, I was that girl drenched from head to toe with all the other ones running across campus twice with no shoes on.. that was definitely me. As negative and sarcastic as that sounds, and as upset as I may have looked at the time, God's timing works perfectly. I had forgotten how much I LOVE rainstorms!!!
I knew today would be crazy but man I didn't expect such a hectic-dreaded-day to turn out to be so beautiful. This year I've been blessed to be surrounded by so many beautiful girls as WELL as get to know 49 new theta babies that each individually have already changed Theta for the better. I have never felt so loved and encouraged in my life, and yet I continuously turn away from it. This is EXACTLY like my relationship with the Lord. He pursues me, He loves me, He is jealous for ME!! What the heck? I was pondering all of this, and had some fun realizations with Reagan Sinclair on the way to breakaway.

Recently I felt a push to join a bible study. If I'm going to really do this whole Jesus thing, I'd say I need to know what I'm talking about. So I signed up and joined one with Grace Bible Church. First, let me say I never do things like this. The idea of losing control and just jumping head first into something never even goes through my head. I always research what I want to do, throw it out there and practically advertise it to everyone I know in hopes someone will do it with me, and THEN either go through with it or don't do it. Never do I throw myself into stuff like that. But hunger for the Lord consumed me. I went online and signed up for not only a bible study, but a new mindset: He is worth it.

Slowly following my sign up that insecurity creeped in. I began to advertise to my friends and a knot rose in my stomach as I had committed myself to this and no one was biting. Not only that, but I became frustrated with those girls that didn't show any interest. Newsflash Molly Shute, it's not about you. What I didn't know at the time was God was really pushing me to sign up alone, and to go alone, and to prepare my heart for the change that is coming. College is a fresh start, yes, but people already know the old me. This is a group of amazing girls that I have an opportunity to be the person I want to be with from day 1. In my group there are 4 girls, Lauren, Lauren, Jeane, and me. My two leaders are Emilee and Jane. These girls are awesome.. They actually thought I was funny and cared about what I had to say and why I had joined the bible study.

What I didn't mention was how I knew I was in the right bible study. There are several significant songs that have helped shape my faith and life. The number one for right now is 'How He Loves'. This song hits my heart hard as my strongest desire is to love and be loved, and He offers it freely.. another would be 'From the Inside Out' which I heard for the first time on a mission trip where, ironically, I had gone with a church where I knew no one except the trip leader who was constantly covered in kiddos. Another instance of me following God's lead, and that trip transformed me forever. And you'll never guess what happened in worship before the bible study? That's right, they were played back to back. Praise be to Him who knew I needed that right then and there! I was filled with such joy in that moment that it gave me the strength to face my social fears and just be ME. man... God works in mysterious ways, yes, but dang this one wasn't too sneaky.. Better luck next time, Jesus.

What's hilarious about my life is of COURSE Breakaway was great (as usual) so I was on such a spiritual high when I got home. And to top off a great different-day-than-I-thought-it-would-be, I come home to a bug in my bed. That's right, the one girl in the house with a serious phobia of bugs finds one in her bed... freakin' a... But I was chattin on facebook and was reminded about how lucky I am to have Jenna Ponsford in my life. The other night we were talking about how goofy smiley faces are, and how you can make them have mustaches or not.. then that lead to how the only people with mustaches in this world are either pedophiles or detectives.. and then that lead to how hilarious it would be to actually speak in the way we text.. as in 'I can't believe it I'm so happy for you :)' Now act it out in a mirror. That whole sentence would be said normally and then you add a slight smile at the end. I don't know about you, but that is pretty dang awkward, therefore funny. Lastly, this wound up to lead to the famous 'spies' smiley :/

who actually can make a face like this :/

We didn't understand, but Jenna managed to do it. Now how we labeled :/ here as a spy, I can't actually remember... But I do know we managed to name them all

:})= detective/pedophile
:}*= definite pedophile
:/= spy

so if you see anyone that looks like those.... you know the code..

Back to life. Jenna is a joy in my life and I couldn't ask for a better, more understanding, or more beautiful roommate :) So thanks for being awesome, Jenna. And thanks for allowing me to giggle with you until 2 am :)

Now thank you God for allowing Jenna to be a part of my life. Thank you for breakway, bible study, good friends and love. Thank you for friends like Grace Guthrie who constantly love and check up on me despite how way-cooler than me she is :) Thank you for revealing to me that love hurts, but it is beautiful and I am fully convinced that the hurt is never stronger than the love I will feel for the man I will love, Your child. Thank you for reminding me that He is out there somewhere, right now, loving You and preparing himself for me. And lastly thank you for loving me unconditionally despite my wavering faith. It is stronger day by day.

Now I'm off to face my bed, aka the former home of the male bug that Brittney Rice murdered... pray that I am not defeated by the fear I am feeling even sitting on TOP of my covers!!

To all my readers, vaya con dios.

Molly