what did I do to study for my last final? Watch Sleepless in Seattle..

2 Corinthians 9:7 (NCV) "Each one should give as you have decided in your heart to give. You should not be sad when you give, and you should not give because you feel forced to give. God loves the person who gives happily.'

Going through my earlier blogs, I read how much I love serving and how I learn to serve selflessly and serve with purpose. Reading this verse I am reminded of that! It's funny how when I was looking back on my blogs how different my vision is of not only service but everything I do. God has supplied this for me. God has loved me even when I thought my faith couldn't get any stronger (boy was I wrong)! I look at how much I've grown and I'm just in awe. I keep thinking that I can't learn any more and then I learn more!!

These past few weeks have been great. I've learned a lot about myself and about the people around me. I've dealt a lot with judgment and insecurities in who I am, and have found even more encouragement in the Lord. When I felt down about myself, I felt emotions and then was able to move on. God provided me the strength I needed to get by and continue life!! I've felt that more this week than ever.

Time to study for my last final... wish me luck!


Vaya con dios
Molly

D-2 formal + Theta Semiformal + Grandmother's successful surgery= awesome week

Yes I know, totes presh. I'm kinda crazy about this guy! Two dances with him just further proved how great he is... just because he put up with me, the worse and most uncoordinated dancer in the world. AKA not a dancer :) Thanks for a wonderful week Kyle!

SO, this semester has flown by. I mentioned in a former post feelings up numbness, and confusion... as if this past few weeks have been a blur. I've been thinking about this and what it means.. When I realized how not okay that is. God calls me to live each moment for Him, with purpose and intention behind it. So allowing blur is not okay... it just shows I'm not being His hands and feet.
Someone who does do this though, is my grandmother. She had shoulder replacement surgery today and as I walked by the room she was being prepped in I hear her blabbering away about being a teacher and where she's from and where her doctor is from... I walk up and ask if she had been drugged yet, judging by the amount of chatter. I was greeted with a gasp from my grandmother and a good laugh from the wildly attractive doctor Eli Whitney (He's like McSteamy and McDreamy combined!!!). Even when she was about to have surgery, she was there making others smile. I've realized how in that sense I am just like her. How my ability to charm and make others feel comfortable is a blessing and a curse, but makes life a little harder when it is misinterpreted. Either way, I love who I've been raised to be, because I feel purpose when I make others smile. Being at the hospital today I was reminded of how awesome that passion is!!! I made tons of new friends, many of which were attractive doctors, and made more people smile just by being friendly. Oh, and did I mention I made new friends who are police officers who gave me their office phone numbers so if I ever want to see a day on the job they would do it? I was more surprised about that than you are. And the only reason they offered was because they watched Kyle teach me to two step and I just walked over and started a conversation.

Sometimes today's society makes me sad. There is a reason I get along so well with older people, I was raised to do exactly that. People my age like it because my way of conversation is quite old fashioned. But mostly because being friendly in general is rare... Showing God in a smile is sometimes unheard of. When I tell someone I saw God in them, it's surprising. When I get to share God with someone, even I am surprised. God's love shouldn't be surprising... it should be radiated and common. We aren't supposed to be content with the way the world is. In poverty, AIDS, world hunger, depression, murder, suicide.. and in my case, how rare a smile is.

So, let's smile a little more guys :) and keep my grandmother's recovery in your prayers!!

Vaya con dios,
Molly

I'm grateful for everything :)

First thing I'd thank God for today is yogurt. This is my third time to eat it (it's been a weird eating day) and I've liked it more every time. Whoop for greek yogurt!!
Second, Theta and AMC's domination in songfest. It wasn't a little domination, it was awesome complete domination with style and good dance moves!! Way to go girls!
Third, my puppy. I saw her twice this week/weekend and got to snuggle and love on her. Despite people's annoyance by her, I love her with all my heart when she's hyper and when she's not. God blessed me with this bundle of joy :)

 Lastly, I'm grateful for Kyle Powell. I want to share what he did for me Thursday night. Prepare to be amazed.
So first, I go to pick him up from campus because he wanted to 'take me somewhere' but wouldn't tell me where. Next thing I know I'm being blindfolded and he is driving... He makes a stop somewhere, I actually don't cheat (shocker, especially in a situation where I don't have control and I am whining the whole time) and I make it to the last stop alive. He walks me out of the car and into some sort of field, takes off the blindfold and we are at Christmas in the Park.

Cutest thing ever? I think yes. Turns out the stop we made was him getting me hot chocolate.. and we proceeded to walk around and admire the lights and smile a whole bunch.. oh and take a few pictures along the way. That's the perfect date, right? Oh no, there's more. He then took me stargazing and we saw a shooting star. Double perfect, once impossible.. Now possible.
Now, I don't say I'm thankful for Kyle because of our date. I'm not grateful for what he does for me. I'm grateful for who he is... He is an amazing man of God who loves so deeply and shows that love to anyone he meets. He encourages me, betters me, and radiates God's love to me. I'm grateful for him because of how he allows God to use him, and how strong he is and trusting he is in God's work in his life. I truly believe if everyone was a little bit more like Kyle, the world would be a better place. So, thank you Kyle for a wonderful week/weekend. You make my heart glow and are an incredible friend to me. I couldn't ask for a better guy to hang out with :)

Well, seeing as it is now 2:15 I guess I should head to bed to make it to church in the morning. My thanks has been listed above :)

To my audience, vaya con dios!!
Molly

You should let me love you, let me be the one to, give you everything you want and need...

First, I want everyone to see how the beaters made the cookie dough form a heart. God loves my cooking, too :)
So I've felt pretty numb recently. That's why my blog posts have been short or not at all. Not as if I'm in a bad place, not as if I'm super busy... But everything has slowed down and these last few weeks are quite the blur. I've had a regathering of my thoughts and have begun productivity again, but I'm still slightly confused as to what I've done in the past few weeks.
I've loved how despite my numbness and boredom, God has been first on my mind. He has popped up in my mind more than anything else, and I know that despite my boredom and lack of productivity, I'm precious in His sight. What an awesome thing to KNOW for sure!!

The other day while studying with Kyle, I ran into (or she ran into me actually) Courtney Bailey. Y'all, this girl is awesome. She was in my impact and dominated a cheer awarding us the 'spirit stick' which we turned yellow :) This girl is awesome. Despite circumstantial difficulties and life coming down hard, she had a beautiful smile on her face and was geninuenly concerned as to how I'm doing. And, she admitted to facebook stalking, which makes her awesome in my book.
Talking to her got me thinking. About how despite the fact that at impact I didn't know Jesus as well as I do now, I was still able to love on Courtney and everyone in my camp in the way He meant me to. God has been guiding me even when I didn't know Him. He pursued me when I wasn't pursued. Think about it... Say you try to be friends with me. I make it clear I don't want your friendship in a polite nice way. You continue trying, knowing I need love from a friend. I tell you to your face I don't want it. You continue trying, despite my disrespectful comments and spreading rumors about you. I eventually tell you I don't like you at all, and I don't want to talk with you. You cry and are hurt, but you continue pursuing me. Eventually I yell at you and scream at you to back off... say things about you and to you that cut to the core. You'd give up eventually, right? There's only so much hurt and lies you can take. Now picture this is someone that isn't just a friend.. it's your daughter. I did exactly what I did in that situation to God. I ignored Him, avoided Him, back talked to Him, yelled at Him, berated Him, lied to Him, and eventually told others I hated Him by saying I didn't believe in Him. How much I must have hurt Him... How hard He must have cried... He gave His live for me and I intentionally hurt my God!!!!

Now i'm not going through this thought process to make myself (or you) feel bad, but because I need reminding of the sacrifice of Jesus and the way He suffered, as well as continues to suffer. I said those thigns to Him and He still saved me. There are people everywhere who are still in the state I was. And why aren't we being His hands and feet? I am saved because people took up that role. Continued to love me despite me avoiding and ignoring... They loved me because He loves me. They hurt while He hurt. We are connected to our Lord and we need to be doing His work as He demands.

Phew! Another rant! My point is that I want to be His hands and feet, not only because my Lord did it for me!!!

Vaya con dios :)
Molly

Think Theta Think Yell Leader

In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe.” - Hebrews 1:1-2

Boom. Roasted.
That verse is one that definitely hit home today... One thing I've always thought about (but not struggled with) is how prevalent God is in the Old Testament and how He literally says to them "Hey you, you're being stupid and I'm tired of it. Quit it now or I'll wash you away". Which is not only super baller because God is awesome like that, but because of how simple it was to contact God and have Him as a consistent source of love and

GRACE GUTHRIE. GRACE GUTHRIE. GRACE GUTHRIE.
This girl makes my heart happy. Seriously, not just a little. A lot. She is one of the coolest people I know and one of the most loving people I know. I'd do anything for her- I hope you know that Grace!! I heart you a whole freakin' lot.

REAGAN SINCLAIR. REAGAN SINCLAIR. REAGAN SINCLAIR.
I can't wait to room with this girl... so full of joy and love for everyone she meets. I can say with full confidence that this girl is one of the most genuine girls I've ever met. I'm so luckyyyy!

Aaaaaanyway, back to the original topic: Jesus.
So the cool thing about looking at the Old Testament and how prevalent God was in that time, I thought about why that didn't strike a jealousy chord in my heart. But when you think about it, I experience not only a life where God is completely and totally prevalent, but I have an intimate and special relationship with Him. Take that, Old Testament people. HA HA. But I seldom think about the reality of having a relationship with my creator. Me, a sinner, undeserving, unworthy, and yet chosen to have that kind of relationship. How cool that really is!! Now, part two of this is how awesome it is that I have the intimate relationship, and it comes with having God completely radiate in my heart and take over everything I do and transform it. I am so amazed at the fact that God helped me and loved me and made it known. He invaded my life and changed me. I did nothing to change who I am or what I do. I simply asked Him to move me... and He did. I know God exists because of who I am. I know God exists because of who He is. and how He is. and how He loves.

Okay, study time. More later! Vaya con Dios!!

Molly

Stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody with the human touch..

DISCLAIMER: This photo has absolutely no relation to the title of this post. In no way am I admitting to love for The Spice Girls... I am on the topic of love today as God has revealed it to me over this break. I've had a great time seeing how I react to things. I have been consistently surprised by how I have changed and how my heart has changed and what I long for has changed... but this week completely solidified it in such a God-filled way!!!
I've seen how coming home isn't always easy. I said in my last post that was rudely interrupted by the A&M game (whoop for BTHO tu) that coming back to rules throws me off. Not because I wont follow them, but because I really just forget what it's like to respect rules that are in place for a reason. I also struggled with falling back into old patterns and habits of being home. Following a lonely summer, I was tempted to justify the loneliness I felt with 'spending time with family' when in reality loneliness was loneliness, so I filled my time with those who love me and had a great balance of both worlds. It worked perfectly! 


Hm.. I'm feeling like its time to bake. Maybe I'll edit later! 
vaya con dios :)

Turkey day... or for me, potatoes, vegetables, and cookie day!!

"Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song" -Psalm 95:2

What a good one for today. I can be brutally honest and say this is the first thanksgiving that really means something to me. The 19 Thanksgivings before this have been breaks from school, time to see family, time to see boyfriends, time to sleep... Just another block of time for selfish endeavors. This year I am so grateful. Not just because of the faith God has placed in my heart, but for the most random year... ever. I was talking with my friend Kyle about things I'm grateful for, and it sorta played out like this (be mindful, I made some edits so you don't have to hear mushy stuff about how grateful I am for Kyle as a friend):

I'm so grateful for my life, my transformation, for benign tumors and hair dye.. For changed hearts and impulsive tattoos.. For passionate kisses and the invasion of the Holy Spirit in my heart. Im so filled with His Love right now :) this is the first thanksgiving for me that actually means something!! And I'm grateful for every second of every day of my life- it all led me to Him!

 In a nutshell, life is pretty dang good. Not always easy, but good. Coming home is always awesome!!! I have been home twice this semester, which is funny cause last semester I came home maybe a million times.. But I appreciate home, as well as my family so much more. I don't dwell on the small things that drove me crazy when I was home.. I love the tea my mom makes so much more, and my parents dog Bumper so much more... my bed, the couch, the meaningless conversations we have.. it's wonderful :) But it isn't always the smoothest ride just because of the quick transition from independent college life to being under parents rules and responsibility. Now, that's not to say my parents are overly strict or weird, they are super chill and fun!!! But it is a different world :)

I had a wonderful conversation with my sister that kinda put me in my place at why I do what I do. Did I go to college because it was the thing to do? Or did I go because I wanted to pursue a career that required college to be successful? And what is successful exactly? And is my job that I want to pursue successful? Or is it another thing to do according to society? So many questions... here's my thought process:

• Why I went to college: I want with all of me to be a therapist. I want to help people and I want to know what I'm talking about and actually be helpful as opposed to just speaking from experience.
• Why I want to be a therapist: see above, I want to help people
• What is successful: Not having a job, but doing what I love and what He wills. Just having a job doesn't mean success.

A&M game is on, edit later!!!
 

I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give return to me!!

¹⁴ For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom every family^[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶ I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
 -Ephesians 3:14-21

 I just decided to hit you with two awesome things, that dominant bible verse, and then an awesome picture.

LIFE IS SO GOOD.

I want everyone to know where my heart is... so I made it bigger. I have been continuously reminded about how awesome God is! I don't want a life without Him- my life now is SO wonderful!!! Now, wonderful doesn't mean easy, but it sure does mean wonderful. I've been surrounded by love by girls in Theta, by new friends and old friends.. God works for good in ALL things, and I have seen that to be so prevalent in my life recently. My friend Catherine recently told me she wants to broaden her horizons and live life to the fullest, not as if she wasn't before (if you know her, you know she totally does), but that she wants to explore more friendships and get out of any bubble that is trying to capture her. How awesome is that? I strongly believe if everyone was even a little bit more like Catherine Turano, this world would be a way happier place. She's changed me and made the joy I had before impact more people. Thanks, CT :)

Best day ever, I just found a Diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge that I bought recently. Whoop!

AAAAANYWAY, I've started writing my family. I know email is the same, and is faster, but I've realized how a note is just so much more meaningful to those I love. Why in the world it took me this long to do something this small for them I'll never know! But I'm different, and I want them to see that. I recently had someone who was super close to me for about 2 years tell me that between the time we were friends and the time we weren't, I've definitely changed. Thanks be to Him who invaded my heart, and answered my prayer for change. I can't take ANY credit!!!! I just asked to be changed and I was. I made no effort except resisting things that make me hurt. Pretty good deal, eh?

Anyway, following my week that was so hard a few weeks ago, I can honestly say that everything that happened worked for my betterment.

Break up: Brought me closer to God

Not getting service: Opened my semester to working for breakaway, being (hopefully) an impact counselor, as well as pursuing my own missions. Oh, and more school hours :-/ 

For this semester, it gave me the opportunity to spend more time with friends, inside and outside of Theta :) To my besties: Prio, Catherine, Josh L, Kyle, Josh D, Joseph, you guys made my week so great :) Thank you!

Housing:  I have 3 roommates and have the opportunity to get to know someone new!!! It also got me the house of my dreams, and a place for my puppy :)

Bike being stolen: I got to explore the quad... that's pretty much the only positive I have for that one.

Failing tests: I have gotten to know my profs and my grades have shot up!! Thank God for awesome profs.

So life is pretty good here in College Station. Future stories/plans: Being locked in Evans overnight, camping at lake Brian, spending all day at the zoo in Houston and going to a concert at night... oh yeah. Go college life!!!

I'm going to memorize the verse I posted above.. expect a video of this accomplishment soon!!

Vaya con Dios,

Molly

Truly He taught us to love one another..

Great weekend? I think yes :) I have been SO blessed with so many friends!!! Especially these two :) Thank Jesus, He made people that can put up with me :)

So this weekend was insane. I spent the majority of my time cooking, and I LOVED IT. Have I mentioned how much I can't wait to be a mommy? I spent maybe an hour cooking biscuits, eggs (with ham and bacon and cheese), bacon on the side, and toast. I loved every second of it. I loved serving, I loved cooking quietly so the boys could sleep, I loved Josh roaming around out of boredom... It made my heart soar!! I just can't ever cook enough. And especially for my besties (oh, it's official, we have bracelets). There have been few times in my life where I can sit there, look around at the people I'm surrounded by and say 'These are my favorite people'. But that happened TWICE- Friday and Saturday night. To my besties: Kyle Powell, Catherine Turano, and Josh Lambert. Thank you for a wonderful weekend :) Thank you for putting up with my obnoxious laughter and my pasta that didn't go into boiling water. Truly, you guys make my heart glow. Not because of how you make ME feel specifically, but because of who you are as people. Thank you for radiating God's joy to me this weekend!!

I have another joy: I found a house!!! We have named her Jodie :) the address is 705 Pershing, and it's uber close to campus and is so so nice. I am so excited to live with Reagan Sinclair and Jen Lewis, (and possibly Polly Smellage and Jessica)! The idea of getting to live with these girls, cook a whole lot, put hammocks in the back yard... it's perfection. That- and my puppy gets to live with me and snuggle ALL DAY EVERY DAY! God is so good. He radiated His love for me during my rough time about the housing process. He showed me how much better His plan is than mine! And right again, Big Guy. I couldn't be more exited about the awesome girls I'm going to live with that ADORE you!! Thank you for providing them to be my accountability :)

Today has been a great day. I have seen so much joy in everything I look at. I worked from 9-12 today in the Commons for Theta Fiesta, and in every stranger I harassed I saw Him. God isn't always overly prevalent in just the church... sometimes He's more prevalent to me in the cheese and grape trays I get for lunch at Evans. Those were some good grapes, good work! I recently went to Whataburger with my friend Alisa, and she told me that I looked good. I was assuming physical aspects, but she went on to say, "no, you look good. You look happy and you glow". I was taken aback by this until I was able to respond that she was right, I am happy, I am glowing, God has given that to me!!! Especially with friends like Alisa Dubinski. She seems to always get caught in sticky situations and despite that she is always reaching out to everyone around her. It is such an inspiration to me! Not only is she sweet on the inside, but she is a HOTT mama on the outside :) Love you sweet thing!!

Thanks anyone?

GOD!!! You are so so great. I have never felt so at peace with everything You are doing. I know You will provide- what's funny is that I forget that despite Your consistency. Thank  You for not giving up on me. Thank You for being a constant. Thank You for allowing me to completely rely on You!!!
Thank you for my frooms: Reagan, and Jen. I feel like You gave me a great massage following unnecessary stress. You provided our house: Jodie, and she is perfect. Thank you for good friends to live with :)
God thank You for my besties this weekend. I just love them to pieces and am SO blessed to have them in my life. Thank You for allowing our friendship to form and strengthen, and mostly thank Your for finding people that can put up with me and my insanity :)

Catherine Turano and Alisa Dubinski, you make my heart sing. Thank you for being you!!!

To my audience, vaya con dios!
Molly

HOPE-

Hope. This is what defines my life right now. I mentioned this in my last post, but I wouldn't want to live without God. Not because He keeps me out of troupble, not because I don't like who I used to be, not because He fixes my problems... In a sense He does do all of those things, and does them perfectly. But that isn't why I wouldn't want to live without God!! I don't want to live without Him, because He offers me a hope and joy I can't find anywhere else. He loves me more than anyone else and at a depth that only He understands. He pursues me. On the flip side, He is God! He is my creator, He is all perfect and loving.. He is the reason for life. I love Him and need Him because He is God. His existance gives me hope. Why He picked me to be His daughter and save me from a life of sin and confusion... I just don't understand yet. But I do know that I am a daughter of Him and I am deserving and worth it!!

Dang, that was a love fest :) I've learned a lot in the last year. In bible study we went over how satan tempts us and how he attacks us in the smallest ways. We discussed individual shortcomings, and how we fall, and one that was common and expectedly so was the skewed view of beauty. A few hours before I had found this awesome verse in 1 Peter, that says,

^"3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

I shared this with her and I was more surpised at the timing of this. God has used the Word to attack my heart with His love. I am a firm believer that you need to be in the Word or you can't fully understand Christianity.. And I'm living proof of that.

I had a great conversation with my sister Laura yesterday. She is such a sweet person with a heart for people that no one else I know has or uses. We talked about judgment, family, love, God, God's love, forgiveness, filters... it was awesome. A conversation that long needed to happen :)

ANYWAYYYY- about hope!!
I've noticed this past week when there is God's voice in my head or when it's satan. One way Anna in my bible study put it was that when you hear a voice in your head adn you can't figure out whether it's God or not, just see how it makes you feel. God wouldn't send you negative messages.. Now, He may sent you truth that you may not like, but He's not going to tell you your jeans make you look fat today. That may seem like common sense, but it is a big struggle now days.
I just walked by a heated religious debate in academic plaza which I just love. not only did the guys who were opposing Christianity seem to be pulling opposition out of their tukus, but the hopelessness in their eyes struck a chord in my heart. I have a heart full of hope and joy. These guys had hearts filled with negativity and sadness. Why would you refuse the thing that gives so much hope to so many?
I've been there... it makes sense while you oppose it.. but man I pray for their hearts today.

According to Josh and Tim I am a hippie. What makes me a hippie? I'm just sitting on a bench with my toms and my aviators and music playing... So not hippie-ish.. thanks for brightening my day, guys :)

love to you all,
vaya con dios!
Molly

I'll stand with arms high heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all!!

So, this picture shows me and my sister under our favorite tree at my grandparent's house in Midland. Sadly, that tree was cut down... but our love for it remains. And so does our personalities in this picture that are so prevalent to me. Laura being a little bit wild and crazy, me wearing my all time favorite socks that I tried to wear every day but my mommy wouldn't let me.. and me being the calm one while my sister being (I reiterate) wild and crazy and full of love. Normally I look at this picture with love and admiration!! Today, I look at me as a child and feel how childish my last few weeks have been.

My struggles involve seeking too much approval from others, approval from myself, and depending on that when I feel God is distant. This past week has been the epitome of that.
First, slate (or elections for Theta officer positions) was this weekend. On Sunday I sat by my phone hoping and praying I got the call from Amanda saying 'Would you like to be service chair?'. That call never came. I was okay with that... I wanted service so bad but I had convinced myself that I was relying on God's plan. As time went by, emotions ran higher and higher as I realized that the fact I didn't get it meant someone else was picked over me. And not only that, but that it must mean the nomination committee likes them better than me. Silly thoughts, I know, but I say again this is where I fall the hardest. I found out it was my roommate, Jenna Ponsford, who received this position. She is so strong, smart, organized, and wonderful. She will rock this job and do great things for Theta!!! But I have to admit at first I was pretty sad about it, because I felt like someone had messed with the plans God had for me. Did you catch that? I had planned for God to plan for me to be service chair. That is completely contradictory... So I had a good cry and a few hours of pouring my heart into the bible and eventually reminded myself of how amazing Jenna is and how great she will be at service, and trusted that God will place me somewhere else.

Upon working on this, recently I found out people have already found houses for the fall and have gotten roommates. I was under the impression that because of slate people would respect each other and wait until slate was over to form houses. But how dumb is that to wait when most people know already where they will live? I had a meltdown because no one had asked me to live with them. AKA in my head: They don't like me, they talked about not rooming with me, they made sure they filled the house before I had an opportunity to live with them. This thought was quick and out of my head, but it kept coming up as satan reminded me of where I fall. I stressed people out and tried to squeeze into houses that had no room, until God knocked at my door saying 'quit planning, that's my job'. I finally let go of it and not only have I found roommates but I have awesome roommates that I wouldn't trade for the world. As I was having my meltdown about slate Reagan Sinclair (frooms) came in and offered me comfort and prayed over me. How God works in wonderful ways!!! I have the most awesome girl in the house to live with and hopefully 1 or 2 other girls :)

As I was dealing with that emotional nonsense, my bike was stolen. Granted, this bike was free because I found it by a dumpster second semester last year, but still. I loved that bike. It was hot pink and lime green.. whoever stole it, you can't hide that for long. But that was a downer, because now I don't have a bike and I was just starting to ride to campus every day in an effort to save money on gas and also to maybe burn a few calories :) So that was upsetting as I ran around campus looking for it and found nothing..

THEN, the class I was failing got worse. I missed the q-drop date and looks like I'm stuck with it. I can bring it up but it's going to kill my social life. I also got a 49 on a paper that the girl I worked on it with got a 78. Given, she's brilliant, but still... slightly frustrating. Good thing this girl, Jenn Lewis, is a wonderful woman of God who jumped at the opportunity to tutor me and encourage me!!

Also, I was dealing with the loss of a good friend. He needed space for a week and it's been pretty tough not being able to text him and see how he is. But if anything, it has reminded me of who is in control, God. He is dependable. He loves unconditionally. He is taking care of my friend... after all, He is the one who created such a wonderful person. This loss reminded me of where I fall, and I poured my heart into the bible more than usual and it has been wonderful.

SO, today's horrible horrible day flipped upside down. Following all of this, my best friend Alisa Dubinski immediately found me and hugged me and said 'lay it on me'. She listened and encouraged me and loved on me... she is so amazing. I'm so lucky to have her!!! Despite her own bad day she dropped everything to comfort me. That's real friendship :)

I had to study for the test of the class I was supposed to drop, and spent a good 5 hours with Jenn Lewis (who I mentioned above) who I just adore. She thinks my stupid jokes are funny, and she's freaking hilarious!!! What a joy to be around!! She doesn't get frustrated with my lack of knowledge (nice way of saying dumbness) and is encouraging and wonderful thoroughout it all. I'm so blessed :)

Then, my friends Prio Ball and Josh Drillette came to the SCC to order some theta gear, and completely brightened my day. It's guys like these that remind me of how God works so perfectly, by placing the exact guys I wanted to see in the same place as me so they can put a smile on my face, and encourage me, as well as make me laugh so loud people around me glare. It kinda completes me. I love how these guys allow God to work through them!!

So the day went from a terrible day that I cried for hours about, to a wonderful day filled with God's peace and love. I prayed ALL DAY for this peace, and when it didn't come on my own time I got frustrated. Little did I know God was definitely letting me feel emotions but He was also helping me move on through that. What a wonderful God He is!!!

I look back on my day and am slightly embarrassed. Yes, it was a lot piled up on each other so emotions would be high, but I felt like my world was ending. When I think about it, I have SO much... a water fountain for example. I JUST completed the 10 days where I am reminded of how difficult it is to get water in other countries. And here I am frustrated because I felt like people didn't like me?

Now, I just focused on the events and how I felt during them. My insecurities and desire for approval were short-lived, as I know that only God offers a comfort that surpasses all others. But this week was a huge wake up call as to my plans. I was put in my place by my big, Polly Smellage, when she said that I need to slow down, pray about where God wants me, and stop jumping from organization to organization and activity to activity. To let God lead me where I'm supposed to be and that will be where I'm happy as well as successful. And of course, my friend Joseph was just a phone call away for some humor and good stories :) such a wonderful light in my life!

I was so blessed to have so many speak truth into my life. The girls I ran to for comfort consist of: Grace Guthrie, Catherine Turano, Polly Smellage, my mom and my sister. I am so blessed to have these awesome women who know me and are so strong. I have definitely never felt so supported!!!

So that was what has been going on in my head. Tuesday can't come fast enough- test that I need to get an A on, and BREAKAWAY and bible study!! Such a long and wonderful day. I keep feeling like my relationship with God can't get any better and it continues to grow as I grow.. How incredible!!

Thanks anyone?

God, my thanks to you has dwindled. Continue to radiate Your light to me as I get so busy and focus on myself. I am nothing without you. The other day I was driving and thinking about You, and how if You weren't here I wouldn't want to live. I don't want to live a life without You. I finally understand the image of me being held and loved by You. It's not a You're there I'm here relationship anymore. It's an I'm here, You're here and there and everywhere relationship. Thank you for this revelation and comfort!!

Thank you for my accountability: Grace, Alisa, Polly, Catherine, my mom, my sister, and Beth. I never realized how hard You have worked to keep these girls in my life despite my past attempts to stray. Thank you for placing me on their hearts and allowing them to love me and me to love them. That is rare and incredible!!

Thank you for my guy friends: Prio, Josh, and Joseph. These guys are such good friends that are so fun to be around even for the short time I spent with them. Thank you for allowing business transactions to turn into fun times, and phone calls to turn into story time. Continue to show Yourself through these guys!

Well, I guess that's it for tonight. I have a test in the morning... I'm in my running clothes so maybe I'll actually get up and run.. maybe...

To my audience, vaya con Dios!!
Molly

GRAND SLAM!!

So you know those days when you are just hit in the face with a bible verse that attacks every last worry in your heart whatever the circumstance? Today was one of those days. I am so worn out by my self-destructive personality and having issue after issue cut me down. I've seen the peace that Christ gives. I've felt the love and the hope only He offers. And that knowledge alone has saved me!! I was texting my friend Beth Pinto about despite my recent trial I have a peace that is not of me. Because I don't have a single bone in me that enables me to relax EVER. So this peace I am experiencing is definitely straight from my Creator!!! How awesome He is to offer that to me in a time that consists of some hurt and tears. This verse just rocked my world:

"Though you have not seen Him, you love him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believable in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." -1 Peter 1:8-9-

Dominant, right? Recently I've been working on knowing what to say when people ask me about my faith. Because I know it comes from my experience but what about those who know my experience? It is important to know why I believe what I believe. But when expressing how my life has been changed, the main thing I can think of is joy.. That verse perfectly describes what I feel about my new life and the people I'm surrounded by. An inexpressible and glorious joy.. Ask anyone and that's how I describe my life with Christ!!

I've rediscovered my joy in music. I am going to give up secular music for this week (last week was selfishness) and focus on Jesus music and live in it! Because I have found the music I listen to influences my heart, as does the people I spend time with. The small things sometimes influence the big things! But I have picked up my guitar again and am enjoying that form of worship. I'm not a performer, but I do love connecting to God through that!

I will do another post tonight after church :) Gotta run!

Vaya con Dios!
Molly

Shoutout to CATHERINE TURANO

You're welcome, CT :)
1st, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALISA DUBNISKI (x20). Yay :)
Seriously y'all, this girl is so freakin' awesome. Not a second goes by with her that you aren't laughing or smiling or giggling or in my case, snorting. If you don't know this girl, get to know her!!! I have spent tons of time with her these last few weeks and I can honestly say I've smiled more :) So thank you CT for an awesome few weeks!!!

OK-- on to Jesus :)
Jesus has RADIATED in my life this week. On Tuesday in bible study there were 3 awesome girls whose lives are being transformed by the worst of circumstances.. Anna's mom was murdered 2 weeks ago. Katy's friend is in the hospital because of a heroine overdose. Such sad things that God shines so brightly through. Anna said it was the first time she had consistently felt peace about it in weeks. Katy said she felt God there. HOW FREAKIN' LEGIT IS THAT??? God was in that bible study with all of us. And He also managed to reach me- the focus was on 'you aren't who you used to be'. Just what I needed to hear in addition to God's message of how blessed I am now!!

So, my parents are coming this weekend. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! Seriously, They are so knowledgeable and so loving. I am so so blessed by them! This weekend will be fun. We have a Theta tailgate and time to just hang out with the rents :) ballin!!!

I was on facebook today and my status was still 'Terrible, terrible day' from Thursday due to arriving late to a test, being sick, and finding out I'm failing a class. Not that much to make a day terrible, right? But in that moment I was DOWN about life. Which is very hypocritical, considering I'm currently participating in The Wells' Project 10 days where I sacrifice all beverages other than water for 10 days. I'm practicing a sacrifice to help others who's bad days consist of walking miles for water and carrying a 30 lb jug back. Seriously? Grades that wont matter when I actually get a job are ruining my day while those who have to walk to get water that I can access down the hall are shouting praises to the Lord??? How selfish can I be?

I've decided that sacrifice is a great way to connect my heart with God. This week, I am going to make an effort to do absolutely NOTHING selfish. As in things that provide opportunity to serve others or myself, I'll choose others. It sounds dumb that I don't do this already, but in small things like getting someone water or giving them my last piece of gum.. that stuff goes on all the time without most of us realizing it. Again, I reiterate that THESE petty things are selfish struggles for me while the people I'm currently sacrificing for don't experience any of it. What has happened to this world?

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
 ² Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
³ Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his^[a];
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
 ⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name.
⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations. -Psalm 100:1-5

I repeat.. What has happened to this world? I did mission work in Mexico for spring break for 4 years in a row and we had to drive 12 hours to get there. We stopped in El Paso, though, which is a wonderful place that produces wonderful people (Jenna Ponsford). But when at the Walmart that overlooks the border, it is so depressing what you see. You look down and see paved roads, you look around and see nice cars and lights and plumbing. You look at the border and you see dust, a broken culture with dumps the size of mountains that people dig through and die in because they fall through to the firey inferno below. You smell sewage that runs in a river by the houses because they don't have anywhere else to put it.. and you see children with knives as play toys. NONE of those facts are exaggerated or fake. Why have I forgotten this? Why do I allow this to continue?

Those people perfect the concept of dependency on God. They truly understand Psalm 100. They get it and they live it. Sure, I understand dependency on God because of broken emotional circumstances, but I don't know Him on a level that is due to broken lives and broken social structure and the blatant fact that people don't care about you or your society. If my friend was living like that, I'd move heaven and earth to get them in a safe place. These people that are suffering are not just friends, they're brothers and sisters in Christ. Why am I not doing ANYTHING to help them?

The funny thing is I don't know why I went on this rant tonight.. this was so incredibly random.. but what makes it funnier is that today in a church service that I payed little to no attention on (based on missions) they discussed God's calling to missions. I want to go to Africa so bad. I do believe that God just worked through me in this blog in this moment. How AMAZING He is!!!!!

Maybe my calling this summer isn't to a summer camp... maybe it is to Africa. Oh my gosh.. I need some serious prayer time.

Thanks anyone?
Lord God, thank you for working in me in the most amazing ways and random ways. If You are working in me to go to Africa, or wherever, continue to make it be known!! If you want me to work in Dallas, make it be known. I am at full disposal of Your will!
God thank you for Catherine Turano, thank you for her joy and spirit and sweet heart. You have done good work with her, Lord. Continue to make yourself known to her as she radiates Your love!!
God thank you for Alisa Dubinski. She is 20 today and has been such a light in my life :) You are obviously working through her in me!!! Thank you for that opportunity!
God thank you for putting a passion for service in my heart. Thank you for providing for me and continuing to show me those who don't have a fraction of the things I do. I ask You to continue to heal my heart and don't let guilt creep in for the way I live and where I live. Instead lead my heart to ways of change for Your children, Lord!!!

AH such a spriritual night!!! To my audience, Vaya con dios :)
Molly

This is my bunny... and HIS name is Brenda!!!

I would like to formally introduce you to my bunny, Brenda. He is a boy. I received him when I was going through the stage where I was attached to my mom but starting to try to detach, therefore I balanced that by naming my favorite bunny Brenda and making him a boy. Success.



I have been feeling the joy of the Lord so much lately. Not in the intense version where I have been saved from terrible circumstances that I couldn't let go of; I have officially stopped dwelling on those things and have moved onto joy of the fact that I have been saved. Not from the things I did, but from sin in general!!! How lucky am I?? With God's perfect timing He revealed Himself to me in a way that I can barely explain. He has put incredible people in my life that I still don't deserve and never will... But I know for a fact it was God's doing by putting them in my life. For starters, my family. I recently gave my testimony about how my family has worked through so much and in the end came back to love and cherishing each other. I cherish my parents so much! They are my rock, my comfort, two of my best friends and to me the most understanding, accepting, unconditionally loving people I know. I haven't gone off the deep end or gotten into drugs and alcohol, but I have done some things that normally parents would flip out on. Instead my parents wrapped their loving arms around me and told me they loved me and encouraged me. I am so so grateful for them!!! Then there's my sister. She has one of the purest hearts of gold I've ever known. She's been dealt some tough cards and picked up some tough cards on her own, but her heart has never changed. She has a love for people, all kinds, that I pray never goes away. Then there's my grandparents, both sets, who are so amazing and so loving all the time. Then there's people like my Aunt Linda, who has MS and walked a mile at a local MS walk in Austin. Not only did she finish the mile, she was one of the highest people to raise money and was the most beautiful one there. On the other side of my family, my uncle Sammy is a quadriplegic and is such a trooper. Going from starting on a college football team to a wheelchair is so incredibly hard and he is so strong and encouraging and is such a man of God.  I just am overwhelmed with how lucky I am to have such a great family. I can only hope I provide HALF of that kind of love to my future family :)


ANYYYYYYWAY... sorry about that rant.. God has been radiating love in my life that is so undeserved. I can't fathom His love for me. He is putting so much effort into our relationship that I haven't spent nearly enough time on!!! What an amazing concept.. cooperating with my Creator.


I was talking with Katie Willis recently about life and slate and well, life, and she had a very valid point that kinda transformed my week. She basically said that she does what she does not for earthly reward, but for His purpose. So if I am supposed to be a trash woman, I will do it and I will do it to the best of my ability not for my company's success, not for a confidence boost, but for His will. Every bag I'd grab would be for Him. I would be using the talents He gave me for His will and His purpose. No matter what the talent is!!! This gave me inspiration to finish this weekend with strength... and maybe a pint of ice cream :)


I've been noticing some pretty cool things. Like cool people I never really hang out with. Like Emily Boothe for example. Tonight I was carving pumpkins with her and even in that situation she was encouraging me to carve well. Who else would do that as sincerely as she does? Then there's people with a heart of gold like Alisa Dubinski, who on one hand laughs at me in a small room at Super Nails and on the other has a broken heart after giving her puppy away. Her heart is so pure and so intentional... There's no other reason for that than God. Because that kind of sweetness and joy is not made by herself, but it is from God and is radiated by her. Praise be to Him for these two wonderful hearts :)


Then there's guys that are just so special to me: Cam Clinton, who is practically my big brother and who takes care of me and continues to keep up with me. Kyle Powell, who has a heart the size of texas and is consistently serving without expectations. Joseph Green, who is such a great friend and sacrifices for SO many and it continues to go unnoticed. These guys are such good friends!!!


You know, I think I just had a good list of thanks. God, you know what to do!


To my audience, I LOVE you!!!! Not a second goes by that I won't sit and talk with you. Don't hesitate..
Rollin' with the homies..
Molly

Killing us softly..

Crazy week? YES YES

I had the privelidge of interviewing with two awesome camps this week. Pinecove and Sky Ranch. Do I plan to work at a camp this summer?? I have NO idea. I don't know why God led me to apply.... Maybe it was because He really wants me to work at a camp. Maybe it's because He wanted me to realize that I have a lot of work to do in the bible aspect. Either way, I'm so trusting Him that He will lead me in the right direction.

Currently I'm in Sociology, and we are watching a movie called 'killing us softly 3'. It's about women, body image, and lives based on the typical stereotype. This is something I always struggle with.. I am consistenly surrounded by the idea of the perfect body and have never been fully content with my own. I can honestly say I have only recently been okay with how I look just only due to the fact I have realized where true beauty lies... Not in this world.

I've been thinking a lot about my husband recently. What I want to say to him when I describe my past... what I want to do for him and how I want to love him. When it comes down to it, he's going to love me no matter what I look like!! So why am I so worried? On the other hand, there's that whole God thing. HE has loved me since I was a gross slimy chubby mess. Did I care how I looked then? no.. I believe as a baby you are still so in tune with God and close to the aspect of unconditional love. So why can't I return to that idea after I acquire knowledge, logic, and everything else that SHOULD influence my closeness to God and if anything bring me closer?? He loves me unconditionally. He wants my heart. He is making a man for me that will love every part of me and not just how I look or not just my personality... Why worry?

Sorry about that rant.. I don't know where that came from. The video I guess. I've had such a great reminder this week about my past in giving my testimony twice to complete strangers. I was reminded of how lucky I am to be me and how short this live on earth is.. how all the things I continue to worry about will have absolutely no worth when I go spend eternity with my savior!!

Thanks anyone?
God... You are so amazing. I have never felt so sure of anything in my life until I finally found You. Thank you for continuing to boost me up even when my head gets in the way!!!

vaya con dios,
Molly

He is jealous for me..

Is that a heart, you ask? Yes, yes it is. I just want to throw it out there how awesome my friends are. Seriously, I have the most incredible accountability and love that I definitely don't deserve. I don't know what I would do without them... It's amazing how God continues to show me His love all because I finally let Him in. It was a small decision but God broke down those built up walls and invaded my life.. what  a blessing that is!!

Breakaway this week was rough. I'm the first to admit that I haven't lived the life I should have. And the discussion of boundaries (whether sexual or relational) smacked me in the face, then picked me up, smacked me again, and then stepped on my toe. It's about time I own up to my mistakes, but I never really thought about how much I hurt God when I hurt myself. My self-destructive behavior is INCREDIBLY selfish. I don't just hurt me, I hurt everyone around me and I hurt my creator. In no way is that okay. Because intentional hurt to myself is intentional hurt to all those I just mentioned.

These past two weeks of breakaway have been incredible. I've learned a lot about love, and how it's used in a positive aspect and how it's used negatively. I learned I can still love with my whole heart.. but until my feet are firmly planted in the Word and in God's hands, I can't commit to any type of love. Loving God is loving others... It's what I want to do with my life. I've come to know setting boundaries pretty well, but only on the other side of the mistake. Now I know what I can and can't do.. so I follow that and make it known. I know as a Christian, I will fall. But the more I can avoid it, the better!

I'm in such a reminiscent mood today.. I love thinking about my past (good and bad) and seeing and feeling how different I am. It's amazing how a simple invitation to the One who created me can literally change my life and those around me... Who knows what He is doing in my life right now. But I DO know it is good :)

Thanks anyone?

LORD!!! I am on fire for You. You have rocked my world and broken me in a beautiful way. I can't begin to describe how thankful I am... but lucky for me, I don't have to. It's kinda nice that You're in my head all the time. Only then could you know the extent of my joy in You. Continue to guide my eyes to You. Keep me focused, on the right path, as I continue to make that effort. I still know I can't do it without You. Thank you for Your Spirit in me... I can feel You everywhere I go.

To my readers, continue loving. It's the only thing that matters in the end!!
Molly

If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here?

Pure joy? I think yes. I had the privilege of spending the whole weekend with my incredible family and my baby girl, Bella. 6 hours in the car with this bundle of joy :) My life is officially complete.

I loved this weekend. I had so much time with my family to sit and talk and share our hearts. We discussed our faith and what's going on in our lives.. and even better my parents said they've noticed a change in me. Already God is shining His recently understood light from me. What an honor.. I got to see/spend some time with some really cool people as well as some people that it was really difficult to see. But God healed my heart. He gave me the strength to love on those it is hard to love and to smile at those who I didn't know I could smile at. I feel as if I am living proof of God's love and power. Who I am today wouldn't be possible if it weren't for Him... I can say first hand I did NOTHING to change myself. I surrendered my heart to Him and allowed Him to change me. But I did nothing special or super hard except admit I couldn't make my life better. I released control and gained love. I love to love. All I want to do is love. I am overjoyed that I finally found a place where my passion for love and people is utilized and needed to do it right. I am still learning boundaries, and how to do it, and when to do it. This has been especially difficult with my past with emotional dependency on the guys I dated... But I finally feel as if I know what real love is, and that I can still love and stay on the path to Him who created it.

ANYWAY, I am so joyful. Only God could heal me the way He has. Only God could provide incredible people that I definitely don't deserve in my life. Only God could create love, a passionate deep experience filled with joy and peace!!! Only God could give me a little 7 month old bundle of joy that loves to french kiss anyone she meets. She defines unconditional love :)

This past weekend we got our littles. I can tell you hands down mine is the coolest. Rebecca Wilson loves unconditionally, gives GREAT hugs, and is genuinely interested in anyone she meets. I am so lucky and blessed to have her and I am so excited for our relationship to grow until it busts. God is working so much and she is so in tune with Him.. I am just in awe of her ability to love!!! Not only that, but she fits in so well. My big Polly is my mentor, my accountability, one of my best friends.. I'm so blessed to have such a Godly woman for a big. She has changed my life just by the way she lives hers. In short, our family is pretty pimpin'. that's all I have to say :)

Thanks anyone??

God thank you for my family. Thank you for the transformation occurring in Dallas and in the hearts of the people that know me best. Thank you for inspiring discussion about You this weekend, and letting Your light shine from me. It is a blessing and an honor to even be involved in a glimpse of You.
Thank you for my Theta family. My little is such a light to me.. She radiates love and your joy and I can't get enough. Thank you for blessing me with two incredible ladies that will be with me for the next 3 years. I am so lucky to be able to love and confide in such baller girls :)
Thank you for my puppy. Everyone knows how much I adore her, but no one fully understands the depth of it. She is my light and my source of joy and comfort (other than Jesus, duh). I love her with all of my heart and I thank you for her sweet soul and happy personality. I can't get enough of her, either!!!

To all my readers, proverbs 3:5-6.

Molly

God thank you for this fire you have lit in my heart.

And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand..

Tranquility. I feel that way just saying that word. This photo (by Catherine Turano) encompasses that for me. Ocean, greens, blues, sand, cute toes... A silence only broken by the waves. Perfection? YES.

Today was that for me. I wasn't in a hyper dancing mood like normal, I was in a quiet mood. On my drive to my first class I didn't listen to music. I didn't put my headphones in on the way to class. I simply drove, and walked, and listened to the world around me.

Feeling tranquil? I sure am.

All day I had this voice in my head that I needed to listen. Be quiet. Cut out all the noise and be. I did that, and it was wonderful!!

Breakaway yesterday was awesome. Not only did I get front row (again), but it was by far the best sermon I've ever heard. I struggle with love a whole lot. Not in the sense that I love and dont have it returned, but more that I want more than anything to love. I tried it on guys and decided to take that away and give it to God. It was my understanding I had to tiptoe around guys and people and not love too much for fear of causing drama... Ben spoke the words God needed me to hear. it isn't about me. Crazy concept, right? My passion for love isn't something to be pocketed until I'm married. My passion for people needs to be explored. The Christian community should overflow with the love I want to give. It isn't romantic, it isn't infatuation, it is genuine love for your brothers and sisters. I can do that, and I can do it well. God gave me the tools! I remember the point made where the love we give to each other means I'm 'invested, but not impressed'. aka I give all of my heart to my community, but I keep my head and needs with the Lord. That was the answer I've been looking for. The part of me that I put away for safe keeping has been brought back in a Godly way. He is guiding me on how to do it! Cooperation with God, what an awesome thing..

I'm falling asleep as I type this.. definitely will say more tomorrow!!

 thanks?

God, You know what's on my heart. Continue to guard it and lead it towards You!

to my readers, vaya con dios.
Molly

Tell me how am I supposed to breathe with no air?

I'd say this pretty much encompasses the christian community at Texas A&M, dontcha think?

What a wonderful weekend! No game, lots of time at the house, lots of time with mah ladies, and lots of time to relax. I had TONS to do, but it was stuff that involved me locking myself in my room and doing it. It was great :)
In a chat with my incredibly awesome, way-too-cool-for-me roommate Jenna Ponsford, I was reminded of why I'm doing this whole Jesus thing in the first place!! This is the general point she made:

"No matter what I'm doing, or how I'm doing it, NONE of it is worth anything unless it's God's will. I can push myself to do something that He doesn't want me to do and I know I wont do it well simply because it isn't His will. I work to be successful at everything I do because it isn't my own will"                                          -Jenna Ponsford

 Freaking awesome, right? She is so wise to say the least. God had her say that at that to put it on my heart for the rest of the weekend. Why do I want to be wanted so bad? God wills it!!! BUT, the kind of wanting I desire from friends, family, boys... it's not dependable or fulfilling. It is there for a reason, yes, but it isn't what satisfies the desire for love. God put that desire there SO He could fulfill it, because He is the only one who can. JP (Jenna) is so incredible and I'm so lucky to have her creep on me as I sleep.. ahem, I mean have her as a roommate. She is understanding, loving, and freaking hilarious :) I love you to pieces, Jenna!

I had the pleasure of spending Saturday with Alisa Dubinski. Y'all!!! She is so cute. Seriously. Despite hard times that find her, she works hard to keep a smile on her face and share it with others. It cracks me up.. again I reiterate: If you don't know this girl, GET TO KNOW HER!! Alisa, whether you realize it or not, the Lord radiates through your smile and your precious hugs :) Thank you for that!!
 Following this I got to hang out with my FREAKING AWESOME BIG Polly :) my gracious do I love this girl and the support she gives me unconditionally. If I had to pick one relationship that resembled the unconditional love God gives, this one would be it. She knows everything about me (especially my faults) and continues to encourage me towards the Lord. Not only that, but she shows me love and encourages me in my talents.. What is better than that??? She is so amazing. Despite her own struggles she works so incredibly hard to be there for me. Best big ever? I think so! Then she put up with her dog Kylie and my dog Bella playing all night.. Needless to say, they were loud. I loved every minute of it :) Polly, thank you for loving me unconditionally and tirelessly. I really don't know where I would be without your encouragement!!! I know I can always come to you with any struggle, joy, or random story and I will always be appreciated. Thank you for always making time for me :)

Well! I just love my friends as seen above. I'm so unworthy of their love, but dang it I'll take it :)
Sunday was awesome. I was up continuing my endless work on PC '10's New Member Presentations and also attending the baby shower at 1:30. MY LITTLE IS SO INCREDIBLE!!! This girl, seriously, is way too cool for me. I am so blessed by her already and can't wait to show her the love I've discovered. Until then, I'll just give her little gifts :)

Looks like it's time for thanks!!

Thank you Lord for my friends!!! Thank you for Jenna and her wisdom and encouragement. Thank you for Alisa and her smile and love. Thank you for Polly and her encouragement and unconditional love!! I would be worthless without these people, but of course You know that because You provided them for me! Thank you for my little, and her smile and her heart for You. Give me the strength, knowledge, and clarity to show You more clearly to her as Polly has for me!!!

To my readers, remember today.. He is jealous for YOU!!
Molly

Here's to the nights we felt alive, here's to the tears you knew you'd cry, here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon...

That's right y'all, a heart in my latte. Rumor has it this is common, but in my mind I'm special and this was God telling me first, that coffee is good for the soul and two, that He loves me! Today was a GREAT day! I had so much time to be quiet... it was wonderful.

For starters, I was up super early and got to my first class super early. I had time to sit outside in the BEAUTIFUL weather and just think about life.

Phew! I just caught a beetle in my room in a cup and let it go outside. Good deed for the day :)

But class was a good nap.. woops.. and after I got to go see my baby girl Bella and she was so wonderful :) my little bundle of joy!

I then ran errands, finished homework, ate the rockin' Theta dinner (yes, we had banana splits for dessert) and headed off to Muldoons to study. Not only did I do that, but I got to see my beautiful former roommates Taylor Saxon and Beth Harrington. These two girls are so amazing!! They have always boosted me up and loved me with absolutely no judgment. Beth is so funny and caring about everyone around her. She genuinely loves and supports her friends :) Taylor is so dang sweet and intentional. She is sincere and honest in the love she gives. I couldn't ask for two more awesome girls to have coffee and apparently bad cake balls with. I am so grateful for their love and support even when I have to tell them the hard stuff!!!

I came home after studying and I got started on finally beginning my pen-pal system with my grandparents. I received my grandfather's recorded testimony in the mail the other day, so I made time to listen to it. It was incredible. I've always put this huge divide between my faith and my grandparents (and that generation's) faith. Listening to his testimony, we had the same level of faith. It's dumb how I think just because I'm more open about my faith that means I'm further along. Not at all. My grandparents are incredible people- only through Christ could they be the people they are, the people that made me who I am. I immediately started writing my letter to them filled with love and overflowing gratitude. My grandfather has alzheimers. Despite this, he pursues God and loves unconditionally. My grandmother is having to take on roles she never knew before, despite this she is stronger than ever. Again I say only through Christ could this happen. This all welled up in me and overflowed onto the letter I wrote. Never have I allowed myself to look deeply and appreciate them for who they are. I am so glad I finally did!

Tomorrow is an awesome day filled with dates with awesome people :) Praise be to Him that I have that ability!!!

Thanks anyone?

Lord thank you for Beth and Taylor. Thank you for reminding me of how incredible they really are, and how they radiate Your love and comfort no matter what the situation. Thank you for continuing to work in them and remind them of how beautiful they are and how Your opinion is the only one that truly matters, even though the world sees and aknowledges their inward and outward beauty it's only You that can make them believe it.
Lord thank you for my awesome family. We are all so strong because of how we have been broken and Lord I thank You that You gave us that strength. Thank you for my Gaddy and how strong he is despite his current battle. Thank you for my Ganna and her unconditional love towards Gaddy and everyone else. Continue to provide the strength they need to make it through each day living in Your name and doing Your will.
 Amen.

To all of my readers, todas necesitas el amor de dios!!
Molly

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why

 Ok, I just love this picture. I think it encompasses my love for music, right? This is in the TAMU radio station where I studied with Michael. Freakin' awesome, y'all. Check it out!

Today was so interesting. NOTHING went my way!! The shots I've been trying to get for 2 weeks now were postponed again because they didn't have the dosage.. again.. But the joy I found in spending time with some super cool former aggie nurses overrode that. Then there was having to turn in a paper I found out about the night before.. But the joy I found in having the technology not work and having class canceled overrode that! Then my trip to the mall to get an outfit for the crush party failed, my need for new glasses couldn't be supplied, and the line for smoothies was too long... I left empty handed.

My day was pretty materialistic and despite my usual selfish down attitude about how nothing went my way, my heart was turned to the Lord and how beautiful it was outside and how lucky I am to have the friends I have. I am constantly reminded of how awesome my sisters are... And even in that sense, how awesome my family is. I was having a rough day yesterday and got in my car to go get fast food. I then had a voice in my head question 'why are you going to get food?'. I listened and admitted to eating my feelings.. turned around and went home. I then decided to go to the bible as opposed to my other bad habits, and right when I opened it I was looking up a verse and at the top of the page I found a note from my mom.

It transformed my night and impacted my whole day today. I immediately sent my parents a long message about how lucky I am to have them and how blessed I am by them. I appreciate them so much and never tell them. It was a small note that boosted my confidence, reminded me I'm loved, revealed my appreciation and instigated a love fest with my parents :) I notice I forget a lot to sit and remember what I have, or what I'm thankful for. Most of the time it's my parents. If someone treated me the way I sometimes treat them, I'd get up in their face in a very white-girl way. But their unconditional love never fails me... If they love me that much, how can I even try to understand God's love for me??? It's indescribable the warmth I feel and peace I receive when I think about that. I will never truly know the depth of God's love for me until I see Him in heaven... what a Glorious day!!

I had the joy of spending time with Alisa Dubinski today.. she is freakin' adorable y'all. The least judgmental person I've ever met. She loves unconditionally and constantly and puts a smile on my face all the time :) She is encouraging and compassionate. If you don't know her, get to know her!! She is such a joy to me.

I'm thinking its time to head to bed.. My longest (and greatest) day is tomorrow and I've got a test coming up.

Thanks anyone?

Thank you God for today. Thank you for the weather and the people I spent time with. Continue to use Alisa for Your will, because her passion and love could be from no one but You. Thank you for my family.. Thank you for constantly reminding me that they are a blessing and I'm incredibly lucky to have them!!! Let's have another glorious day, ok??

To all my readers, peace out girl scout!

Molly

Red skin makes teeth look white! Thanks, sunburn...

Dang! It's been a while.. Last week was a long, numb, experience of studying + exhaustion. This Jesus thing is SO great, but it is hard to keep up 24/7. I was talking with my big, Polly, and she said something that made a lot of sense to me. She said that though we don't always FEEL God all the time, it's not what it's about. It more has to do with the fact that even when I don't feel Him, I need to continue to pursue Him and know that He is there working in me. That was a huge comfort to me, because even when I'm losing friends and making mistakes I always am thinking of God and how I can be better..

Anyway, I went to Chorpus for a pledge retreat this weekend. It was sooooo much fun y'all. I can't even begin to tell you!!! The girls in my sorority are so amazing. I got to know girls I thought I knew pretty well, and was able to open up and be loved an accepted without question. Shout out to my car buddies: Grace, Reagan, Alisa, and Caroline Taylor. Seriously, best 10 hours in a car ever!!! I love confiding in y'all, learning from y'all, and laughing with y'all. Seriously, I don't think we stopped talking for any part of either ride.
My favorite night was definitely the first night. We played 'hot seat' games and random question games and learned so much more about each other :) But dang, the beach was fun!!! Not only did I get an awesome sun burn, but I got to pet the cutest doggies and hold a jelly fish!!

This weekend was such a nice reminder of how lucky I am. I can honestly say I deeply care about and adore each of the girls at the house. Grace, Beth, CT, Caroline, Reagan, Alisa, Brittney, Chandler, Laura, Sydney, Allison... Thank y'all so much for showing me love and genuine care over this weekend. I'm so blessed by each of yall and how genuine you are. I can't wait to continue loving on y'all and getting to know your hearts even more as the year progresses.

Thanks anyone?
Thank you, God, for providing me with these amazing girls I don't deserve. Thank you for loving me no matter what and reminding me of your unconditional love and loyalty. Thank you for providing girls that are real with me, hear me out, and give advice straight from You. Continue to remind me I only need You. You fill the emptiness!!

Adios friends,
Molly

I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever..

Is this really on your wall, you ask? Yes, yes it is.

Ive decided that this is how I live my life. Now, it can be a great thing and a bad thing. This reminds me to continuously love on those people around me so that they can be loved and FEEL happiness. BUT if I rely on this to make myself happy... not only am I selfish but I'm screwed. I was having a normal day, no glorious sky pics or life changing events.. I was frustrated after class because it was so long, and it was too dang hot to have to walk.. It was a whiney day. I then had a hott date with Grace Guthrie. Y'all... she's amazing. I have poured my heart out to this girl twice now with no push from her. She has been through tons and has a GORGEOUS smile on her face and a heart for the Lord like I've never seen. My 'okay' day was immediately a great day after I shared my heart with her and heard hers.. and a freakin' awesome soft taco. Seriously, Fuego is awesome.

It's amazing how a simple smile from a friend or lunch with another can change your whole day. That just goes to show how easy it is to have a positive outlook and how often we gripe about days that don't have to be bad. No one will admit it, but it's true.

I had a great chat with Allison Schwarzbach on the bus as well. I never get to see this awesome girl and the two minutes I got with her left me with a smile on my face. Positivity is soemthing she's super good at, and that was another boost from the Lord to say that the info above that was on my mind is totally true!! I'm amazed at how consistent He is with reminding me that I've made the right choice. I think God knows me pretty well.. I need consistency, and boy has He given it!

My day after that kinda went slowly. I went to the rec and got on a machine, decided I was tired and went home. Had dinner at the house, got ready for meeting, decided my dress was too short after many people commented (THANK YOU!! truly I needed to know) so while I threw on the only other dress i had which was wrinkled, I burned my leg steaming it while I HAD IT ON.. yes I'm dumb.. I then went to evans library to study, went to the scc, went to the theta house, went BACK to the scc, went BACK to evans, and went BACK to the house. I was extremely bored and couldn't focus.

Speaking of moving around.. I must share this. The other day I was walking into class (actually the wrong room by accident) and this slightly chubby short guy in front of me was struttin his stuff to his ipod. I mean STRUTTIN'. He saw me behind him... I need you to picture this.. He flung open the door, spun in a complete 360 degree circle, caught the door with his hand and leaned against it and said 'Here ya go'. This is where the audience in my life's sitcom claps... it was hilarious. I smiled and tried not to laugh.. and not only did I giggle outloud after failed attempts not to, I had to turn around and leave when I realized I was in the wrong room.. woops!

THEN, after that class, I was walking in front of the chem bldg and a guy was giving out flyers to help flood victims. As he did this, he said 'help stop the flood!' and I said thanks. The girls behind me were chatting it up and one said, "wait... how are we supposed to help stop a flood? Do you think we supply towels and stuff?"

oh yes, she did. Then the other said, "I don't know if that would help... maybe it's to help the people that get flooded"

oh yes, she said 'get flooded'

I was so tired at this point that I literally laughed out loud, in their direction, and walked away. woops again..

Now all of that is hilarious, I'm proud to be an aggie still despite it, but MAN did I need those laughs at that moment. God definitely knows me and my humor pretty well, after all, my life IS a sitcom!!

I recently went to spoons with my fiance Mitchell Pate. He's precious yall, get to know him if you get a chance. We discussed a very important topic... the word 'boat'. Say it and think about how weird it is.. it is, right? But on a more serious note we did have a good talk about idols and what it meant when Ben Stuart was talking about it at Breakway. What a slap in the face!! I idolize so much and I didn't even realize it. This week has been great for not only realizing what I idolize, but learning what to do with this realization. NOTHING is more important than God. NOTHING really matters but God. NOTHING lasts through eternity. I can be apathetic about life after realizing this, or I can take it full on, do this Jesus thing and worship like I never have before!!

Thanks, anyone?

Thank you God for Grace Guthrie. Thank you for her joy and strength and complete love for everyone around her. Thank you for allowing Yourself to speak through her an show Yourself through her. You made a beautiful woman of God and I thank you so much for putting her in my life.

Thank you God for humor. You know how sarcastic I am and I just love that You are too. Thank you for putting people in this world to brighten others days without even meaning to!

Thank you for Mitchell! He's such a light from You Lord and he sure puts a smile on anyone's face. Thank You for providing people like him to show Your unconditional love.

To all of you, vaya con dios.

Molly