'faulty perceptions of God often prompt us to rebel against Him. Our image of God is the foundation for all of our motivations. As we grow in our understanding of His unconditional love and acceptance, we will be better able to grasp that His discipline is prompted by care, not cruelty.'You know what this means? Every problem I hold onto and every sadness I dwell on is actually me being able to cooperate with God. You hear that? I have the opportunity to COOPERATE with the One who created me. Not only that, but He is obsessed with me in a way I could never understand. Seriously, God, you have the wrong idea about me.
-the Search for Significance
As I was thinking about this, I felt a bitterness rise up in me against everything that happened this summer. About how I finally realize what I deserve and I put myself in situations and even created situations that caused me to think otherwise. Not only was I angry at myself, but I was embarrassed. The shame and guilt I had finally caught up with me in that all these things I had done in front of the Lord. Societies standards will embarrass anyone, but shame in front of God is 100x worse.
I allowed this to sink in, got a smoothie, and took a deep breath. A sense of realization transformed to relief as I finally gave up my summer to Him. I had held on to it as if it hid it from the one who is always there.. and until I let it go and repented, it ate away at me and my ability to love.
Following this, my day went a little bit like this: Go to Texas Aggieland Bookstore on Texas to get a book, they send me to the northgate store. There they tell me they actually only ever received three of the books. So, class, those three students: you are automatically cooler than me. Congrats!
I have had two awesome days where I spent time with the lovely Caroline Taylor. Today we went swimming and I can tell you that swimming is one of the most peaceful forms of exercise ever. Oh, and did I mention she was a lifeguard? Needless to say I felt very safe. Anyway, my sophomore year of high school I was on a mission trip to Costa Rica, where we did this exercise where you spend time in small groups praying and then when you're ready you fall backwards into a pool- symbolizes cleansing and being purified from all sins.. forgiveness in the form of H2O! It was this trip where I accepted Christ.. what a perfect day to be reminded of this :) Being in a sorority offers little time for quiet, and a lot of time for being loved on by awesome girls. But being in the water was like being in another world... of silence, coolness, perfection, and purity. It was quite obvious God put His swim trunks on to meet me there today!
Never have I had a week of such quick realization, progress, and results. I have seen so many blessings today. In Amy at Academy who I talked to for about 10 minutes, in both Aggieland Bookstore people I talked to and the pitiful looks they gave me as I left book-less, in the many phone calls and messages I received about this blog and how people like it... It's amazing how present God is in everything, and how long I've missed His presence.
I can really see Him. It's all so obvious.
To my sorority sisters: Thank you for being so amazing all of the time. Never do I go to bed without a smile :)
to Jenna Ponsford: Thank you for being you :/ SPIES.
To my mom: happy birthday mommy :) I am so blessed to have you as a mom- I am so lucky to be able to say I'm just like you!!!
To my puppy Bella: I am obsessed with you. Thank you for saving me this summer and showing me true unconditional love :)
To my followers, whoever you are, here's to impulse :)
No comments:
Post a Comment