You stood before creation, eternity in Your hands

This sign is truth. We all deserve hugs and whatever source of affection to remind us of the comfort that God offers and created... I've been making an effort to see God clearly in daily things, and this week it wasn't so hard. There was an old man with a Jesus-cane (literally a can with Jesus on it) that felt called to come on A&M's campus and share the bible. This sounds pretty cool, and I kinda get excited whenever I see preachers on campus because I feel if I don't stop I miss new information about my faith that I wouldn't know otherwise!!! But this time it was not rainbows and butterflies like most of the time- this was a war between a man with somewhat pure intentions and student groups who responded to some of the wacko-comments this guy made. Now, obviously this man and I both believe in the same loving God as there is one God... but his version of grace, mercy, and even love were different from mine. I don't have the right to say who is right or who is wrong, but I can say that my life that is filled with joy and love differed a lot from his of conviction and judgment..

anyway, these student organizations (A&M Athiests as well as Gay Pride) basically protested everything this guy said. One day a student had made a poster that had a drawing of a screw, and then a drawing of a box and an arrow to him... the next days they shifted their focus to the 'free hugs campaign' as well as 'hug a drag queen'.. a guy dressed up as a woman stood next to this man and mocked him. As the majority of y'all know, I am quite the fan of older people... so this ticked me off. I don't care if the old man was preaching about the sky being purple and cows taking over, I would make a conscious effort to respect him. No one knows or took the time to know what inspired this man to come on campus. He could even have a disorder that the students there poked fun at... or maybe he's normal and is just not aware of the mercy God shows.
This went on for 3 days and today I saw him and immediately went from having a good day to feeling tired. Listening to this guy is exhausting, but moreso the students protesting him broke my heart. If I were to zoom out on this scenario I would see an old man who thinks he's doing something for God being disrespected, embarrassed, mocked, and humiliated by the students there and frankly by some of his own words. I took a few shots to remember this thought process and went to a bench to sit down for a second. I whipped out my bible and begun to cry... such a symbolism of Jesus' life and yet I manage to emotionally detach myself from it. The God that loves me, shows me mercy, provides for me, strengthens me, and again loves me was beaten, humiliated and killed by people with the same attitude as the students at A&M. But why is it that I cry over a man I don't know, and yet I've become comfortable with Jesus' death?

This lesson was hard for me to comprehend because I've always struggled with being emotional in front of people in general.. especially with my Creator. I saw this right as I returned to school, as I immediately felt overwhelmed with last semester's insecurities and emotions that I had left in College Station with joy. And the funny thing about that, is they stayed right where I left them and attacked when they saw me. Now thinking about everything I just said... I left my issues in College Station here and went to Dallas. Why is it I'm able to just quit worrying about things temporarily? Why can't I just get rid of them permanently? If I can put them aside, I can make them disappear.. hmm..


I recently applied for Impact to be a counselor. I was immediately brought back to my applications for Sky Ranch and PineCove. I didn't get either camp, both saying they were already full, but I immediately remembered my effort to dive into the word and find out the answers that people would ask if I were to join a camp. I remember last year thinking about applying for Impact and doing it just because everyone else was doing it as well as for when I applied for summer camps... but now I finally feel like no one was telling me to do anything, I want to do this because I already have so much love for the freshman that could be in my camp. It's funny how whenever I let go and let God take care of my plans, it all falls into place. The minute I let my emotions get in the way nothing seems to work out... why do I continue to do this?

I've set up a system with my best friend Lauren where we are going to have weekly goals. This week I want mine to be give up selfish motives. This includes giving more, acknowledging my good deeds less, and telling people I love them more. I am in prayer that God will work through this goal of mine!!

To my audience..
Vaya con dios!!
Molly