Molly's Trip to Kenya

Howdy!   

I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your support in my last summer trip to Rwanda. After that experience, I couldn’t ignore my growing passion for Africa and the strong desire to go back. I recently applied and was accepted to a selective internship in Kenya where I will be practicing biblical counseling. I want to be a therapist, and this is one of two internships I will be completing this summer to further my degree! I was the recipient one of 10 spots, and couldn’t be more excited!! Below is more information about what I’ll be doing there:

      Summer interns spend the month of June in Kenya as a part of a discipleship program with Kenyan college students. US and Kenyan students live, eat, sleep and learn side-by-side during the program based in Nairobi, Kenya. Each morning students participate in training sessions led by African Christian Outreach (ACO) staff and other partner mission groups. The afternoons are filled with hands on experiences. The final week is a mission trip to another part of the country strategic to ACO’s current or future ministry needs. Morning sessions revolve around developing students personal spiritual walk or equipping for ministry. Sessions such as Developing a Personal Quiet Time, Scripture Memory, Sharing your Testimony, Bible Storying, Finding Your Mate & Making a Difference are just some of the sessions. Practical ministry experiences happen each afternoon like Door to Door Evangelism @ University of Nairobi, Street Prayer, Slum Ministry, Mentoring and many more exciting and stretching opportunities. The side-by-side experience that students encounter during their internship is unique for both Kenyan and US students. Students not only develop their faith through the discipleship program and missional experiences, but also through the relationships developed.

      There are several ways to support me on this trip! First, I need prayer. This is a very intense internship that will really expand my counseling practices in a country that doesn’t have much knowledge in that area. The Lord hears your prayers, and I personally can say I felt them last summer. Also, any financial donation is also helpful! I have to raise $5900 including the flight expense, and am ready for the challenge of fundraising! There are many ways to donate.

To send directly to me, between now and May 1 mail checks to 1114 Taurus Avenue, College Station TX 77840. After May 1, mail them to 4429 Larchmont, Dallas TX 75205. You can also donate online, by going to http://missmolly019.blogspot.com/ and clicking ‘Donate’ on the right side of the website. Pray about your support, and go where you feel led! Any prayer or monetary support is appreciated.

Thank you very much, and God bless!

Molly Shute

dang... it's been too long

I know i've slacked... that's a given.. but oh em gee these last 3 months have been outrageous
i'm sitting here trying to think of how to even start explaining everything that's happened this last bit of time. God broke me and my busy-ness. I am so sure of God's work... even terrible grades don't get me down. My spring semester grades were absolutely awful. Worst grades I've ever gotten, and the majority all at once... It was a shock, it was an emotional rollercoaster, I dealt with shame, embarrassment... I was almost not allowed to do impact and have to deal with academic probation. Everyone asks me the same thing: What happened?? it's quite simple. I pursued people and was intentional. In short I hung out with people too much. But it's not always hanging out with best friends- it was pursuing people to attempt to better their lives and share the Good News... and I did too much of it. I felt overwhelmed ALL THE TIME and didn't have my grades fall down on me until finals. So basically, I spent too little time on school to spend more time trying to tell people about Jesus. I've learned the hard way there has to be a balance... God wants me to do well in school.

OK
rant time.
I'm watching American Idol with my dad and that pussy cat girl is singing some song about her body.. and her dancing is super sexual, and her outfit is barely covering anything. THIS IS NOT OK. it breaks my heart that her worth is placed in what she looks like. Given, it's possible that sex drugs and money are the only things that 'sell'.. but take a look at all of the christian singers that are said to have 'made it' but are doing it for God. I don't know. It's so frustrating to see people that choose those things when there is a God that is so much more. I recently read a book called 'Heaven is for Real'. Please read it. God offers so much more. The money these people make and the cars these people have won't last through heaven's gates... There is something so much better!!!

I think i need to cool off.

till next time.

Either everyone was crazy, or Christ really did exist and really did rise from the grave...

I know I've used that title before, but man I just love it. ANGLES. ANGLES. ANGLES. You're welcome Reagan :) So life is good!!! I've learned new ways to deal with some anxiety I've had, had several doctor appts to get back on allergy shots and get my shots to africa, and am just so blessed by my efforts to raise the money for that trip!!! I am at the point of $3600 out of $4000!! God is so good and He DOES and WILL provide :) Following my trip to galveston (lowercase for a reason), Lauren and I got in a discussion about abortion. She asked my thoughts on it... I do NOT have a good argument on this, and in this discussion I got very defensive. I whipped out the normal christian response that 'it's murder no matter what age'. I STILL believe this as a life is a life, but Lauren presented this idea of women in India who are forced to submit to their husbands sexually due to their social status, and therefore have many kids as they also don't believe in contraception. So when a woman finds out she is pregnant and her family is already dirt poor- they have the option to get an abortion before 8 wks. I still believe this is wrong, but I will continue. So the question is, when that child starves and dies due to lack of food, is it better to abort or to allow the baby to suffer? My response to this is who are we to say that babies don't feel abortion? Yeah their brains aren't developed, but no one remembers being in the womb and how they were at that point. Science isn't always teh definite answer. Also, when people say 'give the baby a chance', what about the babies that die every day in these situations? I tried to use the 'God will provide' answer, but with the death of those babies... is that Him providing? And these women aren't Christians, does He still provide to them?
Anyway- I lost my argument and got angry and reacted terribly, and my loving best friend understood. She simply asked the hard questions and I need to be able to have good answers. So I send this question to you guys- I need your help with my argument! I want to hear your thoughts- so if you can't post on here, post on my facebook or send me a message :)

SOOOOO back to life, life is GREAT. I've been pursuing relationships and community and have gotten that back ten-fold. I met with my prayer teamer, Ashley Scarbrough, and y'all. She is awesome. So in tune with her faith and her position as prayer teamer and just so understanding and loving... and she likes crepes. Basically my meeting with her was so blessed and fun and I appreciated everything she said and just loved our time together. Thank you Ashley for being legit, and for taking time to meet with me :) Zebulun, alpha Zebulun :) I also got to attend Madison Kerner's wedding and had a BLAST. Most beautiful, simple, and fun wedding I've ever been to. I got to spend time with Lauren Kerner and Paxton and just love on them and be loved on. I adore this girl, y'all. seriously. forever and ever :) I thank God for these people every day!! I am so loved and I am reminded that by the note on my desk from my big that says 'YOU ARE SO LOVED!'. I am so lucky!! My froomz are ballers y'all. We finally got a house and we are all so excited :) I am surrounded by the most godly, strong, christian women I know. I will be changed during my time with them and I am totally pumped about that. These girls are patient, loving, and kind and will love me despite my faults :) Thank you Polly, Reagan, and Jen :) Y'all are so amazing as you are right now and I already look up to y'all!! God has thrown these awesome opportunities to grow closer to Him these past few months and I'm taking them and I hope using them to the best of my ability!! More later :)

Vaya con Dios,
Molly

Long needed? Yes

WOW. that's all I have to say. This past semester has been insane. First- I am an impact counselor!! Impact is a freshman initiation camp for A&M that is Christian-based and is so fun! I get to minister and be there for the incoming freshman class of 2015.. and I can't wait!! Getting to be an impact counselor is a huge honor... especially with my partner James McDonald!!!! I am so blessed by this!!
For spring break I was planning on going to Seaside with a bunch of Thetas, but due to family circumstances, friend circumstances, and where my heart was I decided not to go. I don't regret this decision! As much as I would have loved to go on a trip with all of my friends, it was great that I was where I was when I was. I got to spend more time with family, I was blessed by being able to spend time with Kyle's family, and I was able to dig deeper into my devotional and a book I'm beginning to read: There Is A God. Now, on the topic of The Powells.... oh my gosh. Cutest family ever? I think yes. I had the honor of spending this past weekend with them, playing games and laughing harder than I've laughed in a long time!! The coolest thing about that family is how comfortable they make anyone feel. I am automatically funny no matter if my joke is actually funny or not. There are 4 younger siblings that think everything I say is legitimately funny. On that topic, Mr. and Mrs. Powell are legitimately funny. Cracks me up how their humor compares with some other unnamed people's humor. Their humor I actually understand and boy do I laugh!!! But, I thank God for this family and their ability and choice to love.
Now.. for Galveston. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. First, we couldn't get into our hotel because we weren't 21- after I had spoken on the phone with two separate people saying that as long as someone over 21 made the reservation, we could check in. After a frustrating hour with the front desk girl, Twalika (yes I'm serious), Lauren and I found a stranger named Tracy that was willing to talk to my dad on the phone and sign liability forms to check us in to the hotel. Such a blessing and such a wonderful gift!! Though this woman seemed to be intoxicated and it was 4pm, around her kids... so pray for her and her kids! She was so nice and exchanged numbers with us to make sure we were ok. Thank you, Tracy!!! Then Lauren and I put our stuff in the room, and decided to go for a walk to walk off all the stress we had just encountered. As we got on the elevator, another girl under 21 said the exact same thing we did- someone had told her she could check in too. Way to go, Hampton Inn. So we shared our secret solution and let the newbies on their way to figure life out on their own. Following this we went on our walk, only to find a used pad and a used condom right as we began this walk. Then we ran into a grocery cart, scary paintings along the so called beach, and tons of fog the entire next day. BUT, rainforest cafe was delicious. Long story short, our trip started HORRIBLY. But Lauren and I started the next day with a smile and a spa day- where they overcharged us, where my card got declined, so then they overdrew Lauren's account. Needless to say we spent the evening in the hotel and went home the next morning. Not because we were miserable, but because it was obvious God willed us to not be there.... and Paxton needed his Mommy :) Anyway, I spent the next day at Kyle's with his family and had so much fun just spending time with them, even though things went wrong there too- lake was too cold, pool is broken, and there were sand mites on the concrete... DESPITE all of this stuff- I was happy! Because I was with people who I hold close to my heart. God reminded me of that and didn't allow the miserable experience of spring break and stress and just frustration ruin my week. I definitely had no part in the strength to do that!!! How great it is that God individually seeks me.... I forget how lucky I am....

Vaya con Dios,
Molly

He loves us no matter what-devotional!

Most of us live in a world of performance-based acceptance.  We make good grades and mommy is proud.  We look pretty and daddy smiles. We do a good job at work and the boss is pleased. We serve at church and congregation thinks we are “good Christians.”

Unfortunately that same sense of having to perform well to be accepted by people can easily roll over into our relationship with God. We falsely believe that we must perform well to be loved and accepted by Him, when nothing could be further from the truth. As a result, we strive to obtain something that we already have…God’s unconditional love.

Anabel Gillham was a woman who loved God, but had trouble accepting that God could love her. Sure, she knew the Bible verses that talked of God’s unconditional love for her. And yet she knew herself and doubted a God who knew her innermost thoughts would approve of her.

Then God used a very special person to help Annabel understand the depths of His love for her – her second child, Mason David Gilham, who was profoundly retarded.  Let’s let Anabel tell you her story.

I never doubted for a moment that Jesus loved that profoundly retarded little boy.  It didn’t matter that he would never sit with the kids in the back of the church and on a certain special night walk down the aisle, take the pastor by the hand, and invite Jesus into his heart.  It was entirely irrelevant that he could not quote a single verse of Scripture, that he would never go to high school, or that he would never be a dad.  I knew that Jesus loved Mason.

What I could not comprehend, what I could not accept, was that Jesus could love Mason’s mother, Anabel.  You see, I believed that in order for a person to accept me, to love me, I had to perform for him. My standard for getting love was performance-based, so I “performed” constantly, perfectly. In fact, I did not allow anyone to see me when I was not performing perfectly. I never had any close friends because I was convinced that if a person ever really got to know me, he wouldn’t like me.

Mace could never have performed for his parent’s love, or for anyone’s love, but oh, how they loved him.  His condition deteriorated to such a degree-and so rapidly-that they had to place him in an institution when he was very young. His parents enrolled him in the Enid State School for Mentally Handicapped Children. They drove regularly 120 miles to see him but occasionally also brought him home for a visit. 

On one particular visit, Mace had been with them since Thursday evening. On the following Saturday afternoon God painted a vivid picture of His great love for Anabel through Mason. She was standing at the kitchen sink, dreading what lay ahead. In just a few moments, she would be gathering Mace’s things together and taking him back to “his house.” She had done this many times before-and it was never easy-but today God had something in mind that would change her life forever.

“I stood up to the sink again,” she continued. “More dishes, more washing, more crying – and thoughts, foreign to my way of thinking, began filtering into my conscious awareness.  I believe God spoke to me that day, and this is what He said: “Anabel, you don’t look at your son and turn away in disgust because he’s sitting there with saliva drooling out of mouth; you don’t shake your head, repulsed because he has dinner all over his shirt or because he’s sitting in a dirty, smelly diaper when he ought to be able to take care of himself. Anabel, you don’t reject Mason because all of the dreams you had for him have been destroyed. You don’t reject him because he doesn’t perform for you. You love him, Anabel, just because he is yours. Mason doesn’t willfully reject your love, but you willfully reject Mine. I love you, Anabel, not because you’re neat or attractive, or because you do things well, not because you perform for Me but just because you’re Mine.”

And friend, that’s exactly how God feels about you.  He loves you just because you’re His.

A thought from my devo...

Howdy y'all :) sorry for the slow blog posts!! I got this devo and it really applied to recent feelings of worthlessness. God works in AWESOME ways and I needed this, so maybe you will too :)
To my bible study girls and my impact camp girls, y'all have changed my life and how I feel about girl community and love. Thank you for being consistent, and for being supportive and genuine when it is hard to find people like that these days...

anyway here we go!

March 3, 2011  

A Dream Come True  

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1 NIV).
Friend to Friend
Once upon a time, not so very long ago or far away, a baby girl was born to parents who could not keep her. While neither parent was willing to release her for adoption, neither was able to care for her. So while the legal system shuffled her case back and forth, the baby girl grew into a toddler in a foster home.
Her care was certainly adequate, her physical needs were met and she never went hungry. Her clothes, though not new, were never dirty. Her toys, though not her own, were always sufficient.  This little girl was not mistreated or abused, and yet, in her heart was a hollow space. She desperately wanted what she had never had - a mommy and a daddy of her very own.
As fate would have it, only a few doors down from the foster home, lived a kind couple with a teenage son. The little girl needed a family, the family wanted a little girl, and the details of a trying and lengthy adoption were settled. And while this little girl received a wonderful mommy and an adoring big brother, it was her daddy and their relationship that was extra special.
Ashley was two-years-old when she entered his life. She was thin, pale and clingy. By the time the adoption was finally complete, she was almost three. Ashley had never seen the ocean, eaten a "Happy Meal," or slept in a bed in a room of her own.
A few months after the adoption, Ashley traveled to the beach for her first family reunion. She was overwhelmed with excitement and pride. She had received so much so fast, and it was hard to take it all in. Ashley asked everyone she met if they were part of her family.
"Are you my aunt?"  "Are you my uncle?" "Are you my cousin?" She ran from person to person showering hugs and kisses on her newly acquired family. "I love you!" she told them. "I love you all!"
When her new daddy took her to McDonald's for the first time, Ashley couldn't join in with the other children who played busily on the playground equipment. She was too busy asking important questions. "Do you have a daddy? I have a daddy! See, that's my daddy over there" she exclaimed with excitement and wonder. "Isn't he wonderful?"
"What's your name?" she asked. "My name is Ashley Jordan AMBROSE - just like my daddy.  I'm named after my daddy!"
Five years later, tanned, transformed and confident, Ashley again returned to the annual family reunion. This time she brought a scrapbook of pictures to share with anyone who would sit still long enough to listen.
"This is my story," she would say. "See, this is where I lived before Mommy and Daddy adopted me.  They picked me out special. See, this is my room now - it's all my own. And these are my toys, and my own clothes, and here's a picture of my kitty, and one of my dog, and …"
Ashley has love overflowing for everyone, but no one is higher on her list than her daddy. He knows how to polish toenails, drip sandcastles, tie hair ribbons, hold her in the night - and he calls her "his little Princess."
This story, which is the opening of my latest book, 5 Dreams of Every Woman and How God Fulfills Them, was originally told by a friend of mine, Gail Montgomery about her niece. The reason it grabs my heart …every time … is because it is my story too. And girlfriend, it is your story as well. We have been adopted by a loving Heavenly Father (Ephesians 1:5, 1 John 3:1-2).  You are His little princess! And just like Ashley, I love Him so much; I just can't help but tell about Him. Who will you tell today?
Let's Pray
Abba Father, I love You.  Thank You for adopting me as Your child.  I pray I will represent our family name (Christian) as I go about my daily life today. 
In Jesus' Name,
Amen. 

to my audience,
vaya con dios.
Molly

Bieber Fever???

ALRIGHT. enough said :) I did go to the premeir last night, and I did drool when Usher and JB performed together.. What's funny is how during the movie I couldn't stop thinking about God. Devin O'Donnell said the thing that I was thinking- is JB an idol?

During the movie it showed girls crying and people shelling out tons of money to see this kid who has obviously been  blessed with tons of talent. If you disagree, feel free to see the movie and then we can have a chat.. But what makes this kid so incredible? What makes people worship the tissue in his neck? What makes someone who can sing more famous than someone who can run well?

I read a book called Crime and Punishment in high school that really put this subject on my heart. What makes technology technology? What makes laziness mean intelligence? What makes the ability to do something faster smarter? Because I'm pretty sure things built before the ability to use technology were sturdier, lasted longer, and were more efficient. So why is settling better?

ANYWAY- I adore JB. Don't get me wrong!!! But when I was watching him I saw God more than I saw a cute little 16 year old. God gave him a talent that radiated since he was a baby!!! how cool is that :) Recently I've had a heart for the struggle between living comfortably, being successful, and doing too much. I had a wonderful devotional where it basically said doing TONS of service-oriented projects doesn't make you any more Christian than doing TONS of regular projects. As in if I am the chairman and president and vice president of 60 different organizations yeah I may help tons of different efforts but will I offer my full heart to it? Will I look forward to every meeting and completely offer everything I have because I want to fully pursue this? Or will my ability to say 'no' to something not only teach the person asking me to do the position, myself, and the person that gets the position something? I had an awesome conversation with my frooms Reagan Sinclair about this, and how if you are pursuing a checklist of Jesus-activities and are not allowing Him to lead you where He wants you and where you will be most successful, you will fail and you will fail the organization or people you are pouring half of your heart into. There are people like me, who applied for service chair of Theta, 5k coordinater, VPA, Sky Ranch employee, PineCove employee, historian, and tons more and didn't get a single one. I am still joyful! God reminded me that He will lead me where I need to be. Now had I pursued those more and somehow convinced people to allow me in a certain position I may have gotten the position but I am aware that I wouldn't have been good at them. The topic of getting positions has dominated my Sophomore year but I've finally gotten to understand the difference between desire for a position and being lead to a position. It isn't always easy, but it is a heck of a lot easier when you finally understand those concepts!!

This weekend I went camping with Jenna, Dave, Kyle and Bella. I didn't notice this until the end of the trip, but the whole time Kyle had been serving all of us without request, and without expectations. I found myself getting frustrated when he was playing guitar or doing something that he wanted to do because I got used to his selfless service. I stood up at one point to get something and was thinking about how frustrated I was and the Lord's voice popped into my head saying, 'he has selflessly served this entire trip and taken care of the fire the whole entire time. Who's to say that he can't sit down for a minute and enjoy what he's doing?'. God gave me a huge slap in the face and reminded me of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful guy as a boyfriend :) Happy valentines day baby!!

On the other hand, Dave and Jenna, I can honestly say I have never had so much fun with a couple as I did with y'all. Y'alls attitudes, humor, and encouragement in EVERYTHING just radiated God's love and I can't tell you enough how grateful I am to have y'all as friends and even more to have y'all as camping buddies. Jenna- you have been such a blessing to me! You have always been honest with me, open, and awesome at communicating with me and everyone. I can't thank you enough for caring so much for me no matter how dumb my freak outs are. I have never had a friend like you and I'm so grateful for you!!!!!!!!!!

To Jbieb- your voice has changed and it sounds WONDERFUL!!!!! And you look adorable. Great job at the grammy's!

To my audience,

Vaya con dios

Either everyone was crazy, or Christ really did exist and really did rise from the grave...

I love that quote from THERE IS A GOD: How the World’s Most Notorious Atheist Changed His Mind. By Antony Flew with Roy Abraham Varghese. Ben Stuart (my love, it's a problem) preached on this the first day of my first semester freshman year and it's still impactful. Over the Christmas break, I sort of lost this passion that I've rediscovered. It's amazing how when you consciously make an effort to spend time with God how He returns that ten-fold.
I was meeting with Ansley Hayes on Monday and her love for the Lord just radiated this. I love talking with this girl because not only do I get to share my story and show love to her, but I learn a lot about myself and how I love the Lord and where I fall as well. I'm reminded that He calls us to love each other, to have those tough conversations, and to learn from each other. I've been so blessed with you and have loved spending time with you, Ansley!!
Recently I hung out with my theta fam, Rebecca Wilson and Polly Smellage as well as Klark Kurz and it was just a joyful experience. My little is so awesome- so independent, strong, POPULAR, and beautiful!!! It's amazing how I walked into this big-little process thinking it was going to be like my situation where my big Polly walks me through life and loves on me and doesn't ever give up on me... but my little is so in tune with Jesus and so strong and mature, our relationship isn't me holding her hand guiding her through life, it's us walking through it with support and love and knowledge that the other one's there. I just love this girl and am so grateful for her ability to show love and give love without expectations of that being returned!!
God is just so good to me... I've been overflowing with His love and have been looking at people differently. I have more grace, mercy, and just love in general. I see Prio Ball and I don't just say hello and leave, I want to give him the biggest never-ending hug ever and just love on him till he gets annoyed by it :) I see Josh Drillette and want to aknowledge his grace towards people as well as his respect and ability to love despite the fact that the majority of people our age don't do that. I see Polly and I just want to love her the way she's loved me and aknowledge how she goes out of her way for me and I don't do much to show apprecaition (bella.. yay...). I see my little and I admire her for her independence and strength!! I see Valerie Whitt leading The Wells Project and I want to hug her guts out because she's so strong and I look up to her for all she's done and is doing. I see people like Abbie Perrin who shares my passion for animals and would do anything for anyone, and how she loves my sister unconditonally which none of her friends have done except Abbie. I admire you for that Abbie!! I see people like Catherine Turano who have been in the car with me while I cried and have danced with me with Christmas antlers on, and who I will always be friends with until the day I go chill with Jesus. I have never had someone who doesn't judge me and who shows love and talks to me about everything like CT. I adore her and am so blessed by her!! Last night I saw Neal Spencer and y'all, I've never hugged someone as hard as I did when I saw him!! Neal, you are such a light to me. I told you this last night but I forgot how much I missed you until I saw you. Lets not go as long as we did without being besties, ok??
And last, but definitely not least, my boyfriend Kyle. Kyle you are so wonderful.. I've never been as confident and happy in a relationship as I have with you, and I've never felt so respected and cared for and safe as I do with you. Thank you for giving your time and effort to me, and I promise I'm going to try my best to do the same and show you the care and kindness you have shown to me :) You are great, and I can't wait until this weekend :)
Dang. I'm just overwhelmed with love for my friends. I've said this before, but it's so rare I can look around and feel so much love and happiness around me.
Thank you God for these people!!!

Vaya con Dios,
Molly

You stood before creation, eternity in Your hands

This sign is truth. We all deserve hugs and whatever source of affection to remind us of the comfort that God offers and created... I've been making an effort to see God clearly in daily things, and this week it wasn't so hard. There was an old man with a Jesus-cane (literally a can with Jesus on it) that felt called to come on A&M's campus and share the bible. This sounds pretty cool, and I kinda get excited whenever I see preachers on campus because I feel if I don't stop I miss new information about my faith that I wouldn't know otherwise!!! But this time it was not rainbows and butterflies like most of the time- this was a war between a man with somewhat pure intentions and student groups who responded to some of the wacko-comments this guy made. Now, obviously this man and I both believe in the same loving God as there is one God... but his version of grace, mercy, and even love were different from mine. I don't have the right to say who is right or who is wrong, but I can say that my life that is filled with joy and love differed a lot from his of conviction and judgment..

anyway, these student organizations (A&M Athiests as well as Gay Pride) basically protested everything this guy said. One day a student had made a poster that had a drawing of a screw, and then a drawing of a box and an arrow to him... the next days they shifted their focus to the 'free hugs campaign' as well as 'hug a drag queen'.. a guy dressed up as a woman stood next to this man and mocked him. As the majority of y'all know, I am quite the fan of older people... so this ticked me off. I don't care if the old man was preaching about the sky being purple and cows taking over, I would make a conscious effort to respect him. No one knows or took the time to know what inspired this man to come on campus. He could even have a disorder that the students there poked fun at... or maybe he's normal and is just not aware of the mercy God shows.
This went on for 3 days and today I saw him and immediately went from having a good day to feeling tired. Listening to this guy is exhausting, but moreso the students protesting him broke my heart. If I were to zoom out on this scenario I would see an old man who thinks he's doing something for God being disrespected, embarrassed, mocked, and humiliated by the students there and frankly by some of his own words. I took a few shots to remember this thought process and went to a bench to sit down for a second. I whipped out my bible and begun to cry... such a symbolism of Jesus' life and yet I manage to emotionally detach myself from it. The God that loves me, shows me mercy, provides for me, strengthens me, and again loves me was beaten, humiliated and killed by people with the same attitude as the students at A&M. But why is it that I cry over a man I don't know, and yet I've become comfortable with Jesus' death?

This lesson was hard for me to comprehend because I've always struggled with being emotional in front of people in general.. especially with my Creator. I saw this right as I returned to school, as I immediately felt overwhelmed with last semester's insecurities and emotions that I had left in College Station with joy. And the funny thing about that, is they stayed right where I left them and attacked when they saw me. Now thinking about everything I just said... I left my issues in College Station here and went to Dallas. Why is it I'm able to just quit worrying about things temporarily? Why can't I just get rid of them permanently? If I can put them aside, I can make them disappear.. hmm..


I recently applied for Impact to be a counselor. I was immediately brought back to my applications for Sky Ranch and PineCove. I didn't get either camp, both saying they were already full, but I immediately remembered my effort to dive into the word and find out the answers that people would ask if I were to join a camp. I remember last year thinking about applying for Impact and doing it just because everyone else was doing it as well as for when I applied for summer camps... but now I finally feel like no one was telling me to do anything, I want to do this because I already have so much love for the freshman that could be in my camp. It's funny how whenever I let go and let God take care of my plans, it all falls into place. The minute I let my emotions get in the way nothing seems to work out... why do I continue to do this?

I've set up a system with my best friend Lauren where we are going to have weekly goals. This week I want mine to be give up selfish motives. This includes giving more, acknowledging my good deeds less, and telling people I love them more. I am in prayer that God will work through this goal of mine!!

To my audience..
Vaya con dios!!
Molly